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I Can't Believe He Doesn't Care

Don't push him away.

My amazing son, Matt.

Let's start with a few facts about this awesome young man. At the age of four he was diagnosed as having Asperger's. This means he is on the Autism Spectrum. He didn't start talking until just before his fifth birthday. That was one of two milestones he was behind on. He walked at 15 months, was "scanning" and repeating via alphabet magnets (memorizing by looking at and becoming a human scanner), advertisements, and store signs at 18 months, and he was reading at three. As hard as I tried I couldn't fully potty train him before he started school because of fear. He was afraid of the toilet and was too big for potty chairs. He grew fast.

Now onto the true subject of this composition. Unfortunately, my husband and I separated shortly after our son started a special school program. This would have been devastating for my son if I hadn't been determined to give him the best childhood I could provide. He may not have had all the expensive toys and game systems that his school mates had, but he had a roof over his head, food in his belly, clean clothes on his back, and an abundance of love, respect, and understanding. I instilled in him the same core values and morals that my parents instilled in me and my siblings. I taught him that whatever you put out into the universe (both positive and negative) comes back to you. So I tried to always teach him the power of positivity. And thanks to those teachings he isn't as negative as you would expect. His father chose to move out and into his girlfriend's home when Matt was six. He wasn't around as often as he should've been. He visited our son when it was most convenient for him, our schedule be damned. He chose school days for visits. It was ridiculous. Unfortunately, I went along with it for too long before he stopped visiting altogether. For seven years, I and I alone fought beside our son through the obstacles that life and society threw at us. Before Matt started his junior and senior years of high school, he went to schools in a different district because of the program he was in. Because of that, I was unable to attend any of his events for school. He won an abundance of bronze, silver, and gold medals by participating in Special Olympics. When he entered his junior and senior years, he went to high school in our hometown. I was finally able to support him at his home Unified Track meets. I was and am still so proud. He received his Certificate of Completion in June 2017. After that he attended cooking classes at the local food bank and developed a deeper love and appreciation for food. As a result of great test scores and dedication, he was asked back for the extended program. He is now certified for any kitchen environment. He has dreams of having his own restaurant(s) in the future. And that's thanks to my support, not his father's.

His father has been in trouble recently and was incarcerated for the past four years. He has made halfhearted attempts to get reacquainted with his son. He doesn't ask him any questions about his life. He asks me. I've told him to talk to our son and his excuse is always stupid. Our son has grown tired of the cat and mouse games. He says he's done. He has also said that he supports me if I decide to divorce his father, and to be truthful, I'm considering it.

I just don't understand how anyone could push this amazing young man away. He is such a gentleman. He holds doors for everyone, says excuse me even when he isn't in anyone's way, and is polite. Please, thank you, and I'm sorry are permanent phrases in his vocabulary.

This young man is truly an inspiration to me.

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I Can't Believe He Doesn't Care
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