I Am SO Over It!

Between juggling a 1 year old, a 2 year old, and being 31 weeks pregnant with twins, I must say, I am SO over being pregnant!

Don't get me wrong, I am truly thankful and grateful that the Lord has blessed my womb. Especially considering the fact that I thought at one point I couldn't conceive at all. But my oh my has it been a ride! It also feels like I've been pregnant for a very long time, considering I had gotten pregnant when my 1 year was 6 months old, lost it, and then got pregnant again 3 months later.

My first pregnancy was pretty smooth. Not so much sickness or pain, just discomfort towards the end. And we won't even get started on labor and delivery, that's a topic for another day!

This pregnancy, however, with it following a miscarriage, has been pretty rough. I'm talking morning sickness, dizziness, so I had to stop working very early. Back pain from the twins running out of space. Extreme tiredness. Peeing on myself when I cough or sneeze! Constant fetal movement because they don't have the same sleep schedule. Not to mention I haven't felt that beautiful, although my husband continues to remind me that I am. And my stomach is huge! Sleep has been cut down to a minimum due to discomfort. It takes me at least an hour and a half of tossing and turning before I can fully fall asleep all the way.

Braxton Hicks at this point has been a constant thing (along with rib pain), and that's another level of discomfort as well, especially when trying to get some sleep. On the bright side I haven't gotten to the swollen feet part as yet! Although I know it's coming real soon in the upcoming weeks to their debut.

I envy some mothers at times. Some always seem to just have it together. Make up done, hair done, figure intact if not pregnant, and still manage to take care of their children and hubby. From what I assume of course. But then there's me. Big as a whale, hair all over the place, sleepy eyes, maybe I showered, maybe I didn't. However, my family is together! And I'm sure you can imagine I'll be more of a mess when the twins are born in a couple of weeks.

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Although it's been rough, and I've been looking rough, I have made it 33 weeks in this pregnancy. The twins have dropped into my pelvis (relieving rib pain thank god!), with a risk of preterm labor. Along with all the other issues and discomfort I have faced these past 8 months, complications about low birth weight and abnormal blood flow have come up. Because I'm dilating at 1 cm, I have had to take 2 doses of steroid injections this last weekend. And I have had to take a non stress test twice a week and ultrasounds every week. Not to mention this morning I woke up with rock hard boobs because my milk is coming in. This pregnancy is a much more different experience carrying the twins. And although I'm so over everything—the contractions, the cramps, the sleepless nights, constant doctor visits and tests—I'm still happy about these two bundles of joy. I'm still happy they have even made it this far. And I'm praying that they stay strong once they're born. I'm over everything, but I'm also enduring the pain along the way, and spending these last couple of weeks just waiting for my water to break! I will say, though, as much as I love children, and my children especially, I am completely done for a while. Or at least I want to be finished. Mother hen needs a break!

However, I may be writing to you again soon. Wish me luck!