I Am Not a Stigma

Open Letter to the World

Dear Stranger,

My child is not your burden. I am a single 23-year-old mom, but my life is not over. I see the looks you give me when you ask if I'm married, the pity you give because you think I am asking for it. I promise you I am not. I am a single mom, this was not my plan, but in no way is it a mistake.

Stop treating me like my life is over, that my dreams mean nothing, and that my life is ruined. The truth is even if I was married there would still be a 50 percent chance that I would be here anyway in a few years, so really I am ahead of the curve. Yes, I promise you I know that kids need their parents; however, they need stability and peace more. Two people living miserable lives together out of duty rather than love and respect is not the example I need to set.

I know that I am young and that at my age you had a different path. I made my choices, I am building my life, so stop making me second guess myself. Please stop giving me unsolicited advice, despite my young age I do have a plan and goals for my little family. No, I don't want to be set up with your friend. I appreciate that you are worried that I can't do this alone, but we are doing just fine.

Just because I am a single mom doesn't mean you can talk down to me. I had my child at such a time that it did disrupt my plan. Yes, I did not finish college, but that doesn't mean I give up. Yes, I know that daycare is expensive and that the grocery store is hiring. I have a job and I am working on securing a career for the rest of my life. Please stop asking me if my ex and I are working it out. To be honest I gave up on him and that is all you need to know.

Stop treating me like I am ruining my son because he has no father so, therefore, no good male role model. He has uncles that love him and Grandfathers too; he's is not being tainted or refused a good upbringing.

Just because it's me and him doesn't mean that I am struggling. Stop asking if his father is sending support. Or giving me names of lawyers and threats I should use to gain child support. Stop treating me like a warrior for doing this alone. I am strong, but not because I am doing this alone. I am strong period. Just because I had my son so young just because my plan changed doesn't mean that I won't rock this world.

My son's father failed us, yes I do understand that. Trust me I have plenty of guilt that my child will not have a traditional family. But, my son will always be loved he will never feel like a burden nor a mistake because he is not either of those things. He is the single best thing in my life. He is the reason I get up and try. Stop making him feel like he burdened my life. He may not get that now the looks you give us the fake sincerity you show us. But I do and I refuse for it to happen any further. I am a single mom. I am young. My life is not over so please stop treating me like it is.

Sincerly,

I am not a Stigma

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I Am Not a Stigma
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