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Love has disappeared and two people have separated. This situation is completely different and harder when children are involved. In the past, parents had an average of four children, today children have an average of four parents. This situation is very familiar for most parents. When parents are arguing, the kids are in desperate. Many parents forget that after their divorce, their love relationship is over, but their parent relationship never ends.
They will be parents together until the end of their days, whether they want it to be true or not. You will have a connection to your ex for life and he or she will be a part of children's lives, whether you like it or not.
Statistics show that children with divorced parents have a 65 percent higher risk of getting alcohol and drug problems. 97 percent of all that children repeat the mistakes of their parents. 86 percent of all children whose parents are divorced report psychological consequences into adulthood.
The Power of Origin
Surprisingly, it is not the divorce that has the most negative impact on the children, it is about the parents' relationship after divorce that has a greater influence. It is the relationship with a child and the relationship of the parents with each other after the divorce that decides on the fate of the child. Children are a unique combination of both parents. They are 50 percent mom and 50 percent dad. Not only at the genetic level, but also at the personality level. Regardless of the life situation of the adults, the design of child personality is the responsibility of the parents.
In order for the personality of a young person to develop to fit his DNA, he or she needs the influence of mother and father. Children cannot develop in a healthy way without the continued positive influence of both parents. The inner self-image and the inner voice of a child are the mirrors of the relationship of the parents with each other.
The Inner Voice
Regardless of if the parents live together or not, the following must be clear: the tone in which parents talk to each other becomes the inner voice of their children.
The question, which parents have to ask: what inner voice are you creating through your behavior in your child?
Do you create an inner voice full of hatred, anger, disgust, and reproach, or a voice full of friendship, respect, and appreciation?
Can you imagine what an inner voice of anger, disgust, strife, and stress or an inner voice of respect and appreciation can make to your child's life? The difference is significant. I am pretty sure you agree that these are two different lives! What becomes a reality for your child is solely your choice.
The fate of your children influenced by their inner voices. In addition, you are responsible for them as a parent. A negative inner voice can cause big problems when they will get older...problems like crime, drugs, bad relationships with the opposite sex...and relationships that are churning out! A positive inner voice will lead to a happy and successful life.
5 Steps for the Happiness of Your Child
How do you manage to control one's emotions and, despite everything that has happened, settle the quarrel with the ex-partner and again, as before, to be there for the children, even though everyone now lives their own lives?
For the emotional welfare of the children, these five simple steps are necessary. First, everyone has to find his or her own happiness again. Come back with yourself. Secondly, use the proven tools and ways for better represented the image your ex. This is where tools, practices, and tricks from psychology, the NLP, and a simple effective strategy will help. This is not about bringing the separated couples back together, but about coming back to a common denominator as parents.
In the third stage, we use effective communication techniques to communicate with each other again. It ensures that the other party can also accept the messages we want to transmit.
In the fourth step, we will deal with financial problems. This is about finding a basis that is fair and feasible for both sides, without lawyers and courts. People I work with often describe it this way: "We have found a way for mothers to get what they want and need and save fathers from paying more than they need to. I agree that it is hard to imagine, but that it is possible to combine these two wishes."
In the fifth and final step, the focus is on effectively spending time with children. This is not about the amount of time you spend with your children, but the quality. This is important not only for fathers who rarely see their children but also for single mothers, who often have far less time to spend it with their children because of work, household and all other responsibilities. With the right tools and strategies, the child with the parent who spends only 15 minutes per day can feel more loved than a child who spends many hours a day with their parents.
About the Author
My name is Thomas and I have been working for 7 years as a PhD writer. My specializations are Psychologic and Art. I believe that it is never too late to offer our children the happy childhood they deserve. Writing is my passion and I enjoy writing useful and interesting stories. I am the person whose private messages full with something like "Please, write my paper for me" or "Please, help me." And I always help. I started to write when I was sixteen. Firstly, there were poetry and stories for the soul, but now it's become my work and I can tell you that your workday can be perfect if you like what you do.