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When I was born, I was born into a family very different from others. I was born into a Christian family, but not just any Christian family. No, I was a pastor’s kid. My grandfather, whom I call Poppy, is the pastor of a little church in Alabama called Agape Christian Fellowship. My parents got married young, which was quite shocking to my mom’s parents. They believed that they were way too young to get married, but they allowed it. As soon as my mom graduated high school, they got married. They didn’t plan on having any kids until they had both finished college, but some medicine my mom was taking counteracted her birth control, so a year after my parents got married, I was born. On the day my mom and I were released from the hospital, it was a Sunday. On that beautiful Sunday morning, guess where I went before I even got to view my own home. If you guessed church, then you’re correct. Most everyone in the church had been there for years; they’d all seen my mom grow up, so they wanted to see her precious little baby, me, so badly that it couldn’t wait until Wednesday night.

All of my life, I’ve grown up in the church as the center of my life because, as I’ve said, my Poppy is the pastor of a church, and after I was born, my parents became the youth pastors. I have so many fond memories of children’s church, the friends I made, and the lessons I learned. I actually met all of my best friends through church.

As a baby, I met one of my best friends, Danielle, in the nursery. Of course, at the time we couldn’t talk. Once we could actually talk, we hit it off. When she was two or three, her dad and her older brother, who was four like me, got into a terrible car accident. Her brother Christopher survived, but her dad died. She never really knew her dad, so this accident didn’t affect her nearly as much as Christopher and their older sister, Rebecca. However, I’ve always been there for her throughout the years, and it has deepened our friendship greatly.

How I met my best friend, AJ, is quite an interesting story. It all started one Sunday morning in Everyday Kids, the children’s church program for 2nd-6th graders. I was in 5th grade at the time. My “best friend” was Alena Edwards. (She wasn’t actually my best friend. She kind of just forced me to be her friend and I was too nice to say no. Plus, she had a little bit of dirt on me… She knows my cousin kissed me. I can hear all of the Alabama incest jokes coming in now.) Alena and I were talking when a boy and girl walked in that I had never seen before. Alena glanced at them, then turned to me and said,

“Come on, let’s go introduce ourselves.”

Being incredibly shy and reserved, I replied, “No, it’s fine. Let’s stay here.”

Alena decided to ignore what I had just said and literally dragged me over to the boy and girl. Her persistence to my reluctance ended up being one of the best things that happened to me. Alena introduced herself to the boy and shook his hand before moving on to the girl. I followed suit. While shaking his hand, I said to the boy,

“Hi, I’m Michaela.”

He said, “Hey, I’m Skyler.” At that moment, I noticed he had these round glasses and this luscious curly hair; he looked like a huge nerd. That was the day I fell in love, but that’s another story for another memoir.

Next, I went to the girl and introduced myself once again, followed by a handshake. She replied in a small voice, “Hi, I’m AJ.” And that’s where it all started. I know what you’re thinking. This is the part where they become immediately inseparable, but that’s actually not how it went at all. AJ and I never really talked to one another except when we were forced to. Once we actually became friends, we talked non-stop.

Becoming friends with AJ actually led me to meet my closest best friend in the entire world; the one I’m inseparable from; her name is Alyssa Johnson. I met Alyssa at one of AJ’s birthday parties because Alyssa’s dad was dating AJ’s mom. They were soon to be step-sisters. Alyssa and I took one look at each other, laughed, and said: “I’m never going to be friends with that!” It seems like God had other plans because here we are today, closer than ever.

The problem with growing so attached to three people is when you’re told to uproot your entire life for the “will of God.” That’s what I was told when my parents told me that we would be moving to Oklahoma. It’s God’s plan. God’s Will will be done. It’ll all work out for God’s glory. At the time, I wasn’t so sure about that. At the time, I fell into a deep depression. At the time, I grew to resent God. Many nights I’d find myself wrestling with the Lord, something you’re definitely not supposed to do.

“Why me?!”

“Why must I pack up my entire life to move to Oklahoma?!”

“Why couldn’t you have given Daddy a job here?!”

“Why am I supposed to throw away everything I love and start over?!”

“I have family, friends, a school, and a church that I love. I don’t want all of that to disappear.”

I even went as far as to delete the YouVersion Bible app off of my phone because that’s who hired my dad. He was going to be a web developer for Life. Church on their YouVersion team. I know what you’re not thinking unless you’re my family: “How scandalous! That heathen deleted the entire Bible!”

This particular time wasn’t the only time I began to shun God. It’s kind of hard not to when your family is always shoving it down your throat. I’m not allowed to miss church ever unless I’m sick. If I’m not sick, I’m going to church. That isn’t the only burden I wear as a pastor’s kid. I’m also forced to attend church fellowships and out of town conferences. When I was in 7th grade, I was at one of these conferences with my family. I absolutely did not want to be there. I didn’t participate in worship or prayer, and I slept through the sermon. At the end of the night, as we were leaving, this amazing woman of God, Benji Mallory, approached me. I knew what was happening. She was going to give me a message from God. That was the last thing I wanted… So naturally I tried running, but somehow this 80 something-year-old woman is ten times faster than me. She whispered a message from God into my ear; I began sobbing uncontrollably. An experience like this where a crazy old lady chases you through a building is bound to slightly scar you. It’s just one of the many weird things I’ve had to endure throughout the years.

Once I moved to Oklahoma, I realized how hindering my upbringing truly was. In my small town of Alabama, I hadn’t really met anyone of any ethnicity that wasn’t black or white. No Hispanic people. No Middle Eastern people. No Asian people. There were probably a couple here and there, but never any that I actually remember. Upon starting school at Summit Middle School, I realized how diverse the world actually is. There were so many people from so many different backgrounds. I actually became friends with a girl who had moved here from Africa. I found it so fascinating to finally meet people who weren’t strictly black or white.

Another difference between the way I was raised and Oklahoma is I had never met anyone of the LGBT community. Growing up a pastor’s kid, I had always been told that it was a sin to be gay. So at first, I was very judgmental against all of the gay people I knew. The longer I lived here, the more I realized that I don’t have to hate people who are LGBT; I realized that I can love who they are, but not necessarily agree with it.

In Alabama, no matter who you were, no matter if you were a Christian or not, you went to church. It was just a thing that everyone did. You would go to school and everyone would be talking about attending church. It didn’t mean they were necessarily a Christian; it just meant that they were either

1. Forced to go by their parents

or

2. Wanted to hang out with their friends

Because of this, moving to Oklahoma and meeting not only people of other religions, but atheists as well was super shocking.

My point really in telling you all of this is to show you that growing up the way I have has affected me greatly, in good and bad ways. I met all of my best friends and eventually my boyfriend in church. To be quite honest, the most important people in my life were met through church. But there were also negative sides to the way I was raised; I didn’t have a clear perspective of the world around me. I’m not proud of this, but I never knew Islamic people weren’t terrorists until I moved to Oklahoma. I also wanted to tell you that I am not a perfect Christian child. I question God sometimes; I get mad at Him; I push him away.

No matter who you or what you believe, life shapes us all in different ways. Be the you that you’re meant to be. Once you figure out who you’re supposed to be, you’ll always find your home. For me, the tragic event that gave me depression ended up turning into the best thing that’s ever happened to me… I have found my home.