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Here’s What Your Teenagers Aren’t Telling You

Being a teenager is a very difficult time. It’s also very difficult for the parents. I thought it would be helpful to show a teenager's perspective of how teens feel.

Photo via Troubled Teens

It's understandable how hard it is to read your teenager, child, or a young loved one. I’ve been blessed to have a mom who understands these difficulties in a teenager's life. So I don’t have to hide these things from her, but some teenagers and children don’t feel the same. It’s not that they don’t trust you, but they don’t know how to say these things. I wanted to explain some of the things they aren’t saying and how you, a parent, can help or compromise through it. I thought it would be very informational and important if I share these messages with every parent, coming from a teenager myself, I really hope that it helps.

Before I begin, I don’t want anyone thinking negatively of their child or parent. This article is to inform and help those who can’t completely understand their children. This article doesn’t apply to everyone, but from my experience with friends and myself, this is what I’ve learned. I can only sincerely hope it helps all of you in the process of being parents.

They want you to be proud of them.

I’ve always understood why parents had expectations of their children or at least wanted the best for them. Children nowadays get anxiety if they can’t live up to their parents wants or needs. Obviously, this is all depending on your child. But from what I have learned, children and teens want their best efforts to be appreciated. Even if it’s just saying "good job," it could change a lot with your children. Being overly aggressive on your children can cause them to develop depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders. I’ve noticed this a lot in middle school and still continuing throughout high school. Parental pressure that they put on their children affects teenagers the most, but can most definitely start at an early age. But don’t blame yourself, teens can understand that parents have stress on them too. Your child will understand why you use harsh encouragement as long as you explain. Don’t leave them to be confused. They can be extremely affected by this.

They want to learn some things for themselves.

Obviously, parents want to protect their children from danger and harm that can be put on them in the world or even in school. But sometimes children need to learn things for themselves. There’s been a saying on social media: "Strict parents create sneaky teenagers." I think this quote is pretty self-explanatory. If you forbid your child from doing certain activities, they could end up sneaking behind your back and doing it without your knowledge. Once again, not every teenager is like this, but I’ve seen this happen more than anything else. Now trust me, they definitely understand if you’re trying to protect them from certain things like drugs, alcohol, and other basic safety issues. But certainly less delicate things should be a lesson they learn from themselves. That doesn’t mean you can’t involve yourself at all in situations they're in. You can always provide advice for your teenager, and they will definitely appreciate it. But we all know teenagers are difficult to work with. If you involve yourself in the right amount, you can expect a child to be more open and honest with you.

They’re going to experiment.

Whether they like to admit it or not, teenagers experiment a lot within themselves. Whether it be experimenting with their look, music taste, sexuality, or anything. They will always be experimenting until they find who they truly are. They will go through many phases, but it will help them find what version of themselves is the real them and what makes them truly happy. If you’re a parent reading this, I assume you’ve been through this in high school before, and you probably didn’t want to admit it because it didn’t feel right. But later on in life, you realized you were just experimenting. Whatever decision your teen makes with experimenting, you should always support them and help guide them through it. But don’t try to convince them that it’s "just a phase." I've never understood why, but that phrase just seems to anger teens the most.

They need their privacy.

Being a teenager is an extremely difficult time for everyone. We’re all going through very different changes, whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically. At this time in their life, they really do need privacy, and they appreciate it more than anything. Most teenagers prefer to be alone or with people their age. This goes along with experimenting and finding their true self. Having alone time with thoughts helps them understand themselves better, and sometimes even faster. This doesn’t mean you need to leave them alone all the time, but sometimes they really will value their privacy. They might lash out in certain ways, but don’t worry, they do still love you.

I really hope this article helped some parents, and even opened eyes for some teenagers. If you enjoyed this article, I have many more on my profile, and if you need to contact me, it’s also all in my Vocal profile!

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