Hello!

If you're reading this, I apologise in advance for the adult content and profanity I may use.

I promise this will be a "no holds barred" account of parenting and life in general from the prospective of an almost 30 year old mother of two and all the trials and tribulations it may throw at us. Some entries may be short, others not so much.

I wish I had started a blog sooner as there's already some great—and other not so great—moments that would have written well!

For the purpose of the blog, you can call me Noots. We will refer to the brats... I mean, children, as Spud (the eldest) and Bear (the youngest, respectively), ManFace my partner and Morty... Well... We'll leave him be.

It's already Sunday, the last day of half term, woohoo! ManFace was up at 7:30, showering. The boys were stirring when Bear starts screaming Spuds name followed by "NO! NO! NOOOO!", at this point, I'm still in bed, thinking to myself "shit. Is this really how the day is going to start? I've not even had coffee yet!". It's now 7:33. Bear comes into our bedroom and proceeds to tell me that Spud has weed on the bedroom floor.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

ManFace was still in the shower at this point. Spud couldn't be bothered to walk the five paces to the bathroom and knock on the door and ask to use the toilet. By now, it's 7:40, I'm pissed off, still not had coffee, there's piss on the the kids bedroom floor and I've been awake all of 10 minutes.

Manface eventually gets out of the bathroom and together, we tackle the situation. This resulted in Spud having to clean his mess up and then tidy their bedroom—kudos, he done a good job—much to the delight of Bear who by this point has smugly slopped off downstairs and has himself full reign of the TV.

Just after 8am (finally I've had coffee! That sweet, sweet nectar). Spud sheepishly comes into our room and informs me he has done what he was asked, I promptly check and tell him he done a good job and that he may now go downstairs. ManFace is getting ready for work and I wonder about what the best way to cope with the day—I've decided as long as I have coffee I might, just might be okay!

8.50, I'm dressed, stripping the kids bedding and putting a wash load on already. Again, it's Sunday and even worse, not even 9 am.

ManFace leaves for work. I sometimes wonder if he's happy to leave the house, especially on days like today. I know I would be. Everyone is fed and now the battle of 'what to watch' begins. Spud has been told that because of this morning, Bear can chose whatever they watch for the day— a reasonable punishment considering!

So here I am. Its just after 10am, the house is quiet apart from the whir of the washing machine and the chatter of Netflix. Thinking "what else is going to happen today?" and if one bottle of wine is going to be enough tonight!

Noots

xoxo