Guilty Before Proven Innocent

My sweet little boy smiles up at me in the dim early morning light. For 6AM, he is wide awake, and I'm already struggling to catch up. He's only one right now, and very few people would argue that he is anything but innocent. My heart breaks to realize that won't always be the case.

Without even hurting a fly, he will be glanced at suspiciously by the parents of his female classmates, as early as elementary school. He will be taught to never hit girls, though that would be an innate instinct, and to let the girls and other boys hit him without flinching. Even as a young boy, accidentally bumping into a girl in the hallway can get him called into the principal’s office for sexual harassment.

When he starts to date, the fathers will be waiting for him. They'll be cocking their guns in the face of my little boy. They may not need to say much to get the point across that they're just waiting for him to hurt their little girl, so they can hurt him. It breaks my heart to think of the sensitive mommy's boy curled up in my lap, being threatened and treated like a criminal while still being innocent. Fathers are allowed to coddle their precious daughters, but heaven forbid a mother is just as public with her love for her son.

If I have a daughter, she'll be deemed the innocent one, whether or not she really is. If she asks a boy out on a date, his parents will think it's so cute and take pictures. They’ll applaud her for being so brave as to ask out a boy. It won't be that way with my son. To be a teenage boy, you're guilty until proven innocent.

What if my son leaves with his date feeling nervous and uncomfortable from his encounter with her father, just to have her make an unwanted move on him? What if she does something to make him uncomfortable? What if she breaks his heart? What if he’s scared to open-up about what happened because of the shame and guilt that will follow? It's acceptable to go after the boy who hurts your daughter, but not the other way around? Is he even allowed to feel hurt about what happened, or does he have to keep that locked away in order to keep up the appearance of the heartless animal the world wants him to become?

Is my son not as precious and valuable as your daughter? I want him to be safe too, but if I made comments about threatening his first girlfriend with my gun, there would be cops at my door. Does he deserve to be any less safe and protected than his friends who wear pink with pigtails in their hair?

I think we would see better young men if we treated them better. Instead of assuming that they're going to rape or break the hearts of our daughters, let's treat them like good men. Let's hold them accountable at the same level we should be holding our daughters accountable. As a mother, I'm not going to work hard to teach my son to respect women just for a macho dad to ruin those lesson by expecting my son to be an animal. If you expect that kind of behavior, you'll get it.

My son has my heart in his chubby fingers. I know it's impossible for him to remain this innocent forever. I know he will make mistakes and grow. I'm not saying that he will never make the wrong choice. I'm just asking that you give him the chance to make the right one.