Grief

Grief is rough, no matter who you are. But the causes of grief vary. Today, I'm going to talk about how I lost my younger brother, Jacob, to murder and how my family and I deal with it.

Jacob was a special kid to say the least. He was a very busy child, and growing up with him had it's ups and downs. But I loved Jacob regardless. He had passions like everyone else, and he was especially interested in Legos. He could build just about anything from Legos!

Jacob was diagnosed with ADHD and was a bit of a troublesome child for my parents. He was always into something. As he got older, he calmed down and over the years he built a strong bond with our baby brother, Zachary. They squabbled like true siblings, but at the end of the day, their hearts were full of love for one another.

On July 11th, 2015, my brothers, Jacob and Zach, and a few friends of theirs, were riding bikes around our town. It was a warm sunny Saturday and they were having fun as usual. As they were headed to a friends house, a young 14 year old boy ran up behind Jacob and got his attention to stop his bike. Zach was lagging behind and didn't catch up until Jacob was stopped. The kid said to Jacob as he grabbed onto his handle bars, "Gimmie your bike!" Jacob looked at him in confusion, but before he could utter a response, the kid pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jacob! The color instantly drained from his face as he saw the gun. Zach and other kids froze with fear. The kid looked up the street, then down the street and pulled the trigger...The kid then darted away as Jacob collapsed onto the ground, screaming in pain and crying for help. No one knew what to do. A passerby who just so happened to be a nurse tried to help, but it was in vain. Jacob was shot by a .22 which I assume ricocheted inside him causing it to hit his aorta. Jacob bled to death in minutes.

It's been 3 years since this awful day and my family has spent 3 birthdays of his at a cemetery instead of with him. Jacob dreamed of being a soldier in the US military and was working hard towards those goals. He never got to graduate high school, never got to live out his dream job, never had a girlfriend...He was only 18 when he was killed, and Zach saw everything at only 14. Zach is now going on 18 years old and he struggles harder than any of us. He's told me when he closes his eyes, he sees that horrible day replay and replay over and over in his mind.

This event has changed my family forever and we may never recover. We continue to support each other and we have remained very close. Especially me, Zach and our older brother Charlie. We take it one day at a time and often try and keep ourselves busy with work or fun activities. Someday are worse on our hearts than others, but we manage. I myself have much concern for Zach.

When it comes to grief, there is no time limit nor is there any specific way for one to do it. What works for you may not work for someone else. But you must push on. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.