Goodbye Angel

Dear Aunt Janice,

I have always loved you, you were always my favorite aunt. You were fun and we had a good time together. I will miss all the times we had together at family events. If not for your cheery face I may not have gone to any events at all. Being around family I barely knew or didn't know at all was always very uncomfortable for my sister and myself. I always had a great time with you. At Christmas time you always made it enjoyable, and I loved your cash present more than something I couldn't use you always knew what I needed. Thank god you never gave me ugly weird sweaters with Santa or kitty cats or dogs that bark. you had better taste than that you gave me money.

I wish you had been able to meet my husband, I think you would have liked him. I wish you would be seeing us married one day. You should be there helping me with my dress, sitting on the brides' side. You should be coming to visit our home and telling us what a great couple we make. I wish you would be there to welcome our babies into the world. You would see our happy home, and of course, he'd be there for me when you were ill or when you finally died, but he wasn't. He wasn't home when you passed away, but he was still there for me when I needed him. He called me when he was able to, and he made sure I was okay. I heard his voice when I was sitting there saying goodbye to you and I was glad to have that. I took your death hard. Its been some time already and I can't believe you are gone sometimes. It helped to hear his voice, but I had a lot of regrets about our lives. I wished you had met him, that I had him here to tell you stupid jokes to take your mind off of the pain. I love to see your smile and I wish I could see it just one more time.

I wish you were around for my kids. They loved you so much. There aren't many people I trust with them and I want my husband to also be comfortable with who our kids are left with or spend time with. They could use someone who knew their grandma who could tell them stories and give them wisdom and I feel they have lost that. You could have one that for my husband as well. I would love to see you bound with them all.

I am sorry that I did not see you more before you died i wish that I had seen you one last time that forever will suck because you were so special to me and I loved you very much I can't believe you are gone and I want to talk to you to see you and I can't but I do visit your grave and tell you I miss you I hope you and mom are having a fun time together.

I take comfort in the idea of seeing you once again when we meet in heaven and you getting to know my husband seeing the kids once again. I look forward to having that party one day with you and all of our loved ones that we have lost. Maybe you will see my father-in-law around there too and connect our family before we even get there. Fly high my Janice. I miss you and forever will have fond memories of you.