Good and Bad Times of Single Parenting

No one is ever prepared for single parenting as well as learning how to swim alone in raising child/children. It is a bittersweet journey for which you have to face and be strong. Problems, including lack of time with your children due to financial issues, loneliness and the negative effects of divorce on kids, are only some of them. Let’s talk more about these in the following.

Pros

• You make the decisions.

If there is one thing that makes being a single parent rewarding is that you are able to make the decisions for yourself. You don’t have to consult your partner about the decisions you make in the household nor have to ask for permission from him/her.

• No parental arguments.

Following up to the first point, single parenting also eliminates argument among parents. You don’t have to keep up with arguments with your partner because you don’t share the roof with him/her, giving way for a peaceful home environment for you and your kid.

With this kind of setup, you and your child don’t have to stress about daily arguments, making you both feeling secure.

• You manage the finances yourself.

Another thing that makes single parenting fulfilling is that you manage the finances yourself, giving you the freedom to decide how you are spending your money on you and your child.

In this case, you’re always in a better position in terms of handling and planning your finances. You also know when you can spend more and when you can cut down.

Being a single parent, you’re also able to teach your child how to understand and manage money so that they grow up responsible in managing theirs in the future.

Cons

• Because of financial issues, you may spend too much time earning money and not enough time with your child.

Single parents need survival skills and one of those is working harder for the welfare and future of their kids.

As one, you have to take charge of your family’s finances. In this case, you often end up juggling your time between your job or several jobs and your time with your child.

But then, it also has a drawback. As you have to spend too much time working and earning money, you don’t have much left to spend quality time with your child.

So spending much time and strength on your finances, you might also have a problem on your behavior with your kid, not just on quality time.

• The negative effect of divorce on children.

Divorce hurts your child who is too young to understand what’s going on and why one of his/her parent isn’t around.

As a result, he/she might suffer from developmental delays including poor social and talking skills arising from mental and emotional issues.

For example, experts revealed that children of divorce have issues trusting other people and tend to have fewer friends. In addition, they suffer from learning or academic problems.

Some of them even get in trouble with school authorities due to aggressive and less trusting behavior as well. Many also have poor scores in academics, according to research studies over the past years.

Another issue is on talking and communication skills.

Children of divorce suffer from developmental problems, especially those whose parents were divorced when they’re still in their developmental stage, which is crucial for their talking and communication skills.

If you think that your kid needs help, get him into a speech therapy with a speech pathologist that can help assess his speech, language and communication issues and develop a customized plan of approach for each session.

• Loneliness

Getting out of a bad or failed relationship with your ex does not free you from being lonely because you will still be alone at the end of the day. That’s one of the downsides of being a single parent that left you no choice because you have to deal with it.

What can you do?

Self-care.

Taking care of your child/children isn’t your only responsibility as a single parent but also looking after yourself — especially your health. There are some ways to do self-care as a single parent. Here are some of them:

• Take vitamins
• Have a balanced diet
• Skip bad habits, such as drinking or smoking
• Get enough of sleep
• Have a regular physical activity or exercise

Support your kids and show them unconditional love.

No matter how busy you are through the week, show support and unconditional love to your kids.

One of the best ways to do that is to spend quality time with them. You can plan fun activities for the both of you depending on their age/interest. Bonding moments with your children does not have to involve much cash, though.

For example, do arts and crafts together or spend a day in the kitchen baking or preparing a dish. In addition, you can hit a nearby beach or park on your day off.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, but contact a professional.

And most importantly, seek professional help like from a psychologist for a counseling to help your kid cope up emotionally after divorce or a speech therapist for speech therapy to help him/her get past his talking and language issues.

At the end of the day, being a single parent has its pros and cons. Don’t worry, as you and your kid can still have a quality life provided you take some steps, such as asking for professional help like firm, a speech pathologist and psychologist, taking care of yourself, and showing unconditional love to your kid.