Going Alone

I’m a single mom, have been for most of my adult life, at this point and I wouldn’t change it for a minute. Is it tough? Hell yes it’s hard, I work two jobs to be able to pay all my bills and keep my son fed. Not to mention, he’s an eating machine, it doesn’t matter how much food I buy, it never seems to be enough. I’ve tried dating sites to find love and really, they’ve all let me down. After so many failed attempts, I’ve made the decision to do this all on my own.

Now I’ve said it before that I was not going to look for love, but I got lonely. One part of being my son's mom is that his dad is stationed in Ohio and my son goes to visit him from time to time. I usually spend the summer alone, which is good and bad. My son being gone means I can spend more time at work and not feel guilty for not coming home at a decent hour, however, coming home to a quiet house every night is a real drag. You never know how it feels until you have a child and come home at the end of the day to your child walking to the door and giving you a welcome home.

I recently had car troubles and had to get my car towed. Like I said, I work two jobs, one that I spend anywhere from 8-12 hours a day working outside and the other where I spend 3-5 hours in my car driving around throwing newspapers. The tow truck driver asked how I do it all, and to be honest, I’m not quite sure how I do it all. I know that I wouldn’t be able to do it if my son wasn’t so understanding, but I also know that it isn’t fair to him. It takes a lot of sacrifices, his birthday was this past weekend and instead of spending my Saturday sleeping and doing something for him later on, we got up, went to breakfast, the toy store, and then to the trampoline park where we ran around for a couple of hours. My son is my world and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

I’ve tried dating websites and needless to say, all I’ve met are controlling jerks in one way or another. Men who feel that I need to do something for them in order to earn their love. You should never have to earn anyone’s love. I’ve had one guy who told me I just needed to get over the sadness I felt when my son was gone. Who says that? What boyfriend tells you to get over it or to go talk to someone else? Needless to say, I left at that point, there was nothing more that I wanted to do with him.

After having the experiences that I have had, needless to say, I decided it’s time for me to just focus on my son and myself. Who needs to have a man telling me what to do? My son knows that I love him and that if I’m not at home I’m at work, but he also knows how to get ahold of his mom. He knows that he is number one in my life and that is how it should be.

If you are a single parent and you start dating, remember where your priorities need to be: on your child. You need to make sure that they are still happy while you find your happiness. The man or woman who you choose needs to understand that they will always play second fiddle to your child, if they try and change that, they should not have a place in your life. To be honest, if you are willing to put someone else before your child, you need to stop and rethink your priorities.