Funeral Costs: Adding Insult to Injury

This sculpture captures exactly how families feel after a loved one passes away. And after they're forced to pay an absurd price for his/her funeral. Photo credit: PKH Photography (My mom's photo). Used with permission.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. He/she's at peace now. The total cost's *insert thousands of dollars here*."

Which sentence doesn't sound right here?? Hmm...I wonder.

Funeral costs are UNETHICAL. Plain and simple. It's just adding insult to an already serious injury. Like burning a wound that's already bleeding (A bit graphic, but I'd like to prove a point!)

Yes, I understand that the things that need to be taken care of after a funeral (autopsies, cremation, etc.) are probably more complex than we think. Additionally, let's be real: they're not easy to deal with. It's a morbid and psychologically damaging process whether you knew the person or not. Unless you happen to be a robot, there's no way you can remain impassive while doing these things.

But should you really make a person who just lost someone dear to them pay you thousands of dollars?? My answer's a resounding "NO!"

We all deal with losses that weigh heavily on us. It's impossible for anyone to get through this life without losing family members, friends, and pets. (We can't forget pets. They're family members/friends too!) It's how life works unfortunately. God created suffering when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit (If you aren't religious, you probably go by the belief that balance needs to exist in nature; living things die, but others replace them when they're born. That's ok too. I personally go by what I see in both religion and nature).

Although it's true that we all go through these hardships, it doesn't make them any easier to deal with. I speak from personal experience; I lost three grandparents and four cats. Losing my grandmother on my dad's side of the family was the hardest. She suffered from complications due to diabetes. She was diagnosed when she was in her forties. However, her primary care doctor never stressed how serious this condition really is. As a result, she never saw any specialists and never changed her diet. She injected herself with insulin later in life, but it was too late to be of help; the damage that had been done to her body was irreversible. She passed away when she was almost eighty. My grandfather should've sued that doctor, but unfortunately he never recognized that he was the problem. He sees the world through rose-colored glasses. One of my cats had a rare incurable feline illness called Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV). Losing him was obviously especially heartbreaking.

I majored in both English and Psychology in college. Studying Psychology has made me think about death and its effects on families even more. I'm glad I have the opportunity to share this article with everyone on the internet.

Let me tell you how much my three grandparents' funerals cost:

My grandfather's funeral only consisted of a cremation and a graveside service. However, it was still about seven thousand dollars.

My grandmother's funeral was only a little more elaborate, but we still had to pay three thousand dollars more.

My other grandmother's funeral was the worst in terms of cost: fourteen thousand dollars. The funeral director actually gave my grandfather a break and subtracted two thousand dollars. This was a really kind gesture, but it still wasn't enough.

I came up with this topic while discussing the cost of my grandfather's funeral with my mom. He passed away in December 2017. I said: "I need to talk about this somewhere. Something needs to be done." I mentioned it to my brother two days later and he agreed with my statement that funeral costs are unethical.

So I'm writing this article in hopes of spreading the word and creating change. People who are in mourning shouldn't have to suffer even more.