Full Time Moms who Work Full Time

Do you ever get so confused as to why people get so upset when they meet a woman who is not only a single parent, but also works full-time hours???

Don't get me wrong, I understand the looks that everyone gets. We all drop our kids off at daycare, school, or with family and we tend to look a bit rough that early in the morning. But we all also take some time to get to know the other parents that our kids hang around all day. What can get a bit awkward is when someone asks us how our significant other is doing lately and whether they'll show up to the child's next play or event at the school/daycare, but we correct them and mention that we're not married to our child's other parent or that we're single parents. And we get the look.

Not the look where you just said something so offensive that even little kids stop, but the one where they're so confused that "the train left the station without them" look.

I don't know if anyone else has gotten the comment that follows, but it's usually along the lines of "well, you must be one heck of a 'person' to be able to do it all for your son/daughter" or "that must be really hard for you" or (my favorite) "how on earth do you do it? Don't you work full-time? Who watches your child when you're working?" Sort of starts to feel like an interrogation session with one simple comment or question.

But, thank goodness for people who get it. It could be the other single parent there who's got no clue how we do it and just wings it. Or the teacher who (even though they're married) completely gets it. Our kids aren't perfect and neither is any parent, but it's not true when any one person just assumes that because one parent is single that taking care of their child is the last thing on the checklist.

I'll be completely honest, my job takes up a big chunk of our lives. Yes, ours. I get to be one of the lucky parents who has the blessing of being able to work from home and my child really does help out. We've developed a routine to where I can still be at home with him and do my job during that time. Mind you, my house is rarely ever 100 percent clean and I spend a lot of time after work, every single night, cleaning up everything. Dishes, laundry, cleaning the couches... again. Pick up the backpack and shoes they clearly didn't pick up and put away.

It's definitely true that it's not easy, but it doesn't make it easier when others make it a point to draw so much attention to it. There are a ton of single Moms and Dads who struggle day to day, but we do it for our kids. It's a choice to be a single parent, but it's also a choice to give that up and not one we take lightly.

I'm still curious as to how we do it, with little to no sleep, constantly worrying about whether our kid is doing okay in school, wondering if they're eating enough, getting them to and from appointments, and making sure their laundry is clean and ready for school. Then there's the bullying... Kids... and parents... can be unusually cruel to kids who live in single parent households. How much sense does it take to not embarrass a child who doesn't live with both parents in one household? To teach your kids that those kids are not any different than the other children in the school and should not be treated any differently? But that's for another time. Let's just take a step back and realize that one parent is no different than the other. It's tough being a parent when single or married or together with the other parent. It's just a different strategy.