From What Age Can We Talk About Sexuality With Our Children?

Educating children on this topic is basic so that they get to know each other better and learn to relate to each other.

One of the most important tasks is to educate our children on a subject that is not always easy to talk about: sexuality.

It is important that we provide our children with truthful, useful ,and concrete information (sometimes we sin from speaking, using abstract concepts), information that, at the same time, transmits our values that help them to have a healthier life.

In reality, there are many moments to talk about sexuality; daily life is full of them.

Is it a good idea to talk to our children about sex?

How can we begin to talk with our children about issues related to sexuality?

Educational moments happen every day. In fact, these are the ones that help you talk naturally.

It is common to plan "the conversation" in order to talk about everything important at once. Usually this conversation is uncomfortable and artificial.

Parents end up frustrated at not knowing how to approach the child, and in cases where a good connection has not been established, they feel they have missed "the opportunity" to offer important information.

In fact, there are many moments to talk about sexuality, and daily life is full of them. For this reason, talking to children about sexuality is a conversation that is held over time, it is too necessary a subject in their lives to reduce it to a talk.

How can this daily communication be? At what age can we start talking about sexuality?

Conversations about sexuality arise from questions they ask spontaneously (after hearing a comment in class, watching a TV commercial, watching a couple in the street, etc.).

It is important to start talking to our children from a very early age. They are curious about their bodies, they consult the differences between men and women, between them and adults, between different types of relationship, etc.

Curiosity gives us an opportunity to start a constructive dialogue. This information will help the child to develop a healthy vision about their sexuality, and that of others, a fact that will allow them to care for and respect it, two basic ingredients for building self-esteem.

On the other hand, we must not forget that children are prepared to receive information according to their vital moment.

That said, when we talk to our children about sex, the first basic point is to adapt the conversation to their age.

Overcoming taboos

In general, are today's parents afraid to talk about sexuality with their children?

The inheritance received from past generations in which sexuality was a taboo subject, still takes center stage today.

Parents are aware of the need to offer information that they did not receive, it is true, but there is a fear of not doing it well and harming the child.

The doubts related to the idea that, "maybe you don't have to know anything about all this yet" reinforce the taboo.

One space where we talk about all of this is the parent groups/school. On repeated occasions the participants express fear about conveying a mistaken idea about what sex is and how it is lived.

The fear that the information will generate some kind of problem in their psycho-emotional development that leads them to avoid it.

Well, the answer is the same again. Perhaps it is time to ask ourselves what the child needs (we as parents know this) leaving fear aside.

There is no worse information than that which creates fear and rejection (remember the heritage of past generations).

When this happens, the result is a negative experience around sex, and consequently, the direct affectation of self-love.

Some advice depending on your child's age.

From 18 months to 3 years

Show them the correct names for each of the body areas. If you make up terms you'll show that it's "something bad."

Your little one also has to identify their private parts, as well as not allowing anyone to touch them.

From 4 to 5 years old

At this age, children begin to ask questions. They may ask you how they were born or want to touch your genitals. They will try to compare his private parts with those of their parents. Tell them what is right, and what isn't.

1. Don't be alarmed, your child's interest in knowing more about his genitals is normal.
2. No one can "touch" their private parts. Only father and mother to determine some illness, as well as the doctors.

From 8 to 12 years old

Puberty is on its way. Explain that it is very important for him or her to wait until they are adults to begin sexual activity.

You should talk to him or her about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. Your goal is to teach, but above all, to avoid an early pregnancy, or any other condition.

Never think that it is too late to start "the talk." If your child knows about this topic from an early age, when you talk to him about babies and sex itself, he will take it naturally. There is no reason to postpone a talk like this!