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What is normal?

By Tia ColePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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What is a normal family? I for one think that all families have a little quirkiness to them or at least all the ones I've ever been around. I have long dreamed of being a part of a family. But I have come to the realization that this just might not be a thing for me.

My birth father took me and my sister from our mom when we where just babies. He realized shortly after that running with two kids was not easy and put us up for adoption. We came to live with a family who was in no way any sort of normal.

We were treated like the black sheep, chores were mostly assigned to us and if they weren't complete punishments would ensue. If we got our chores done and the boys didn't we would get in trouble for not doing their chores as well. When the boys found out we were adopted all hell broke loose.

They would pull our hair, hit us, threaten us and on more than one occasion we would be locked out of the house for hours on end. The adults of the home never believed us when we told them these things.

If the boys abuse wasn't enough to deal with the father was handsy with us girls and the mom was just ignorant and refused to accept any of these things. She knew what was happening and refused to do anything about it.

We were finally taken from them and put in foster care where we moved from house to house. Eventually I just quit unpacking my things and basically thinking every phone call was gonna be the one telling me its time to move again.

I met a boy in high school and was pregnant within a year. We both came from broken homes and were determined to be that perfect family we had both always wanted.

We were together for 16 years had two kids together and well we made it work for the most part we were happy. But we definitely had our issues he was a man child who never took responsibility for anything and expected everything to be his way. He was never home and I basically raised the raised the kids all on my own.

One day he came home looked me in the eyes said he wasn't happy anymore and left. He wouldn't answer my calls, respond to any voicemails or messages he was just gone. For three months the kids and I didn't hear from him.

I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining in any sort of way. My family life is a dysfunctional one and well basically non existent.

All of my experiences as well as hearing about other peoples family drama and secrets has made me wonder if the normal family still exists. Or if I would even want to be a part of it.

I may not have any idea on what being a family means or entails but I have used all the negative stuff to teach me what I don't want my kids to ever go through. Sure they'll never have the big family with grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins but they do seem happy and well the three of us seem to make it work.

humanity
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