Eulogy: A Tribute to My Dad

Born on June 2, 1929

Died on September 18, 2012

Eulogized on September 25, 2012

Arthur MacDonald Bernier was NOT our father. Now, before you get upset, let me explain. After studying English and American Literature at St. John’s University and looking back at the last 56 years of his life, I discovered that he was NOT our father. Arthur MacDonald Bernier was our DAD. He was not just our Dad, but he was the greatest Dad who ever lived.

He was the epitome of what a Dad should be. Why? Well, in that entire time frame, he only gave us ONE thing. He wasn’t stingy. He gave us his heart. In other words, he gave his love. It was manifested in the many things that he did just for us.

He loved his family and he protected them. He supported them in all their endeavors. I remember, for example, how he volunteered to be a scoutmaster when I joined the scouts. I remember when he got involved with all of our activities and still found the energy to drive a United States Post Office tractor-trailer for a living. He didn’t have to do that. He WANTED to do it. He was a person who was involved in his family. He attended ALL of our activities. He taught my brother, sister, niece and me how to drive. He did his part to increase the national debt every Christmas by making sure that the floor around the tree was filled with gifts. One year, I told him that he didn’t have to do that for me. I didn’t want him to do all of that for me. Just knowing that he was there was all I wanted for Christmas. My parents are the best Christmas presents God ever gave us. Does a father do that? Nope. Only a DAD does that. He was the genuine article, the real deal.

Dad was a truly wonderful person who understood his mission in life. He was a fighter. He fought in the beginning. He fought throughout his middle years. As you can see, he fought so bravely to the very end. If he was hurting, he did not let us know. We didn’t even know he was this sick until August 16 when we determined that he needed immediate medical help. Just getting him to accept his need for the necessary medical attention and getting into the ambulance was a struggle. Eventually, he did concede and entered the hospital. He did not believe in being a burden to his family. He did not want us to worry. He believed strongly in God and used God’s help in this fight. He must have been sick for years, but he would never let on.

Mom often says that he kept his pain to himself, but he would get angry at all of us if we didn’t go to a doctor. You know how Dad spoke. His language may have been raw or salty, but his intentions and concerns were pure. He held back nothing and wasn’t afraid to say it. I remember Daddy putting up some panels at home one day. He was talking and hammering at the same time. At one point, while he was talking, he missed the nail and got his thumb. He called that hammer every name in the book. At one point, I almost felt sorry for the hammer. Then, he looked at me and said, “You didn’t hear that.” I looked back at him and said, “Oh, yes, I did.” He, however, kept his cancer pain to himself even when we detected that he wasn’t feeling well last month. He wanted us to be a family. His actions were motivated by his love of his family.

Our Dad!!