Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse

It's real and it is probably the most lingering pain to the youth. Many do not understand the effects long-term emotional abuse may do to a child whom is raised in a home consisting of the nightmares. Well, I understand, for I have lived and continue to live through the continuing torture.

To put it in perspective for those who are unaware of the many situations of emotional abuse within the family home, imagine this. You have just turned thirteen years old, to your friends you're the happiest and most outgoing person they know in the entire school. But inside you contemplate suicide, you are convinced that you have become the biggest disappointment, that you are despicable and can't do anything right. You've felt like this for years now. Why? Your father. Ever since you were little you can still remember him saying, "I never wanted kids." Maybe he was just worked up, but at six, you took it to heart. You feel worthless. By 15 you've gotten really good at hiding your deep depression, you've attempted suicide twice, and you're up until 2 AM almost every other night arguing with your dad. You have grown to become more and more like him without realizing it. Strong headed and determined to come out on top. From the school talks and church camps you have realized the way your dad has been treating you and speaking to you is extremely wrong, and illegal. Now 16, feeling hopeless and lost. Wanting nothing more than to be dead. You have been seeking help, but even the help has caused you to become more shut off from the world. Once being a super social extrovert to now being an antisocial introvert.

I am sixteen now. My dad has said these very words before, "Why do you resent me? I buy and pay for you, you ungrateful little girl, you need me."

To this I say, "You cannot buy love."

There's no trust, I have never broken major rules and I have never drank, done drugs, nothing sexual, if anything you could call me the idea teen. yet, my dad calls me a demon from hell because of my feminist beliefs and strong opinions. When I don't keep my room spotless or make my bed in the morning, I can consider myself grounded for days.

Every day coming home from school I constantly wonder what I could get yelled at for. Before driving home I get extreme naivety because I don't want to fight with him about something that night. I've had to put a pause on projects, homework, and school because of arguments or occurrences with my father.

From an adult perspective you could say I'm a disrespectful teen, unfortunately I will have to burst your bubble, for I have been told by many other adults hearing his side of the history even that I have been more than respectful.

Here are some examples of what I am told on a daily basis from my dad;

"You'll never win."

"What are you gonna do about it little girl."

"Life is unfair."

"If you put some more effort into your appearance you wouldn't look so awful."

"Are you sick or just not wearing makeup."

"You're an idiot."

"You don't try hard enough."

"When I was your age..."

"Get your shit together."

"You're gong nowhere in life."

Along with many more. But think abut being 10, 13, 16, and hearing your own father tell you these quotes on a daily basis. Tell me how you would feel about yourself, how you would portray your worth, how you would feel towards him. I live in fear.

People need to raise more awareness to the emotional, mental abuse of children and teens around the world. It leaves an unseen but awfully dangerous, and painful scar with the effected kids. The trauma that will follow me and many other young adults for the rest of our lives will cause an effect on the entire generation.

As for my own personal future, I will write on this site in order to tell my own experiences to the detailed truth and hopefully raise some extra money from it. The profits I'm able to create from here will go towards my college tuition so that I may escape the hell I was born into. I hope that this has opened the eyes for many. If you need help, someone is out there, there's always another option.

Don't stay quiet like I did, speak up, speak out, stay strong.