As a parent have you ever felt wrong about the things that you couldn't do for your first child? When you think about it, the first child is always the most memorable, because at times you never see him, her, or them coming. I am 23 years old, and I just had my second child July 7th, 2018 @ 6:30 PM. My first child is six years old; this is a big gap because I had my son when I was 17 years old. Being pregnant at 16 was very traumatic for me but looking back I know that my son was a blessing. He put me on the right path and brought me the stability that I needed in my life as crazy as that may seem. At the age of 16, I wasn't prepared to have a baby at all. I had only known my son's father for a month, and I was still naive and a child but I've always been mature, so it didn't ruin my life. One of the main thoughts I had, when I was pregnant the first time, was, how am I going to take care of this baby? I didn't have any job experience and wasn't old enough to be hired for a job, so I was already heading down a struggling path. While I was pregnant with my son, I was still in high school, so this was hard enough because I was dealing with nosy people all the time. I didn't get to enjoy being pregnant, my mom was my biggest supporter, and she helped me through everything. However, I never had money to myself, so I didn't get to feed my cravings, have a baby shower or take maternity pictures. I also didn't get to shop for my baby because I wasn't the one bringing in any money. My mom was my rock, and she did as much as she could. When I got pregnant, I was staying with a family member because my mom was getting ready to deploy. The funny thing is that when I found out, I was pregnant my mom's deployment was canceled. After my mom got the news, my siblings and I moved back with my mom, so my son's father and I had a long distance relationship on and off throughout my pregnancy. This meant that I didn't get to go through my pregnancy with the person that I made this child with. My family experienced all my trimesters and pregnancy moments. When I had my son January 27th, 2012 my mom and sisters were there not my son's father. As my son got older, I still wasn't able to provide for him because I was still trying to figure out how to provide for myself and get my life together to get him together. I went through a lot between the ages of 18-20 so that I could provide for my son. These moments were tough but, my son was my biggest motivation to stay strong. The stress of being a first-time young parent was very hard, and I'll honestly say I got it all together when my son turned 3. It took three years for me to feel like I was doing right by my son. Now that he is 6 I can honestly say I am proud of myself for the provider that I've become. My daughter has provided me with a whole new meaning of pregnancy, adulthood, and parenting. The first difference I felt when I find out I was pregnant with my daughter was that I made the decision to have her and it wasn't by surprise. I am also married to the love of my life, so I am in a stable relationship. Finding out I was pregnant with my daughter made me realize my life was complete and stable enough to have another baby. I got to experience a partner with me through this pregnancy. I was able to feed my cravings and shop for my baby like crazy. I was able to take beautiful maternity pictures and get the amazing 4D ultrasound pictures. Most importantly I was able to experience bringing a life into the world with the man that I made my beautiful daughter with. My daughter reminds me daily that I did stuff right this time. My kids are my world and even at 23 years old with two kids I feel good, I am a great mom, and it is because of my son that I can be the mom that I am today. In the future I want one more child, I wonder if there will be another difference with baby #3.
About the Creator
Maelyn Jeffers
Throughout my life, I have been through a lot of pain, and I want to share my stories because as bad as it was I survived. I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!
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Surprise Surprise Baby #3
I remember 2 years ago I was writing about my experience after having my second child Ayva. I talked about how things were so different for me because I was more mature, financially stable, married, and overall, in a good space despite the ups and downs that life already was giving me. At that point I knew that I was not going to have anymore kids until my daughter was at least 5 years old. Once my 6wks of postpartum was up I went to the doctor to get on birth control. The birth control I chose was the Skyla IUD which would be good for 3 years. I knew that at that point I would have excelled more in life and my balance on being a mom would have been pretty much perfect. However, in January of 2020 my life changed because I found out I was pregnant again. January 2020 was already starting off bad, at this point me and my family has lost just about everything and it seemed like nothing was going to give. Everything that I wanted to be better at seemed to get worse. I was financially screwed, I was not happy with my job, marital problems were an issue and over all depression. My kids could not tell how hurt I was on the inside because I could not give them anything but the minimum to survive. As time went on, I knew that something was off. My body just was not feeling right, I did not want to eat, I was exhausted, and just overall down. These symptoms seemed very familiar to me because they were the same symptoms that I had when I was pregnant with my daughter, but the fact that I was on birth control helped me easily excuse those symptoms for being everything but pregnancy symptoms. I remember telling my sister “girl if I weren’t on birth control you would swear, I was pregnant” because I am showing all the signs. After awhile my mind was telling me look, I know it is crazy but let us just rule pregnancy out so that you know for sure that this is depression you are going through right now. One random workday in January I was on my lunch break and needed to go to Publix to pick up some money that my husband sent to me at this point this was all the money that I was going to have until payday so there wasn’t any room to waste it. Once I took care of this deed, I called my sister as I was walking around the store and we started talking again about me possibly being pregnant. I went into the aisle of all aisles with the pregnancy tests and could not believe that I was even considering that I was pregnant again. I looked at the prices and shook my head because Publix in my opinion is expensive. I told my sister I could not afford to spend money on a legit pregnancy test especially if there was a big chance that I was not pregnant. At that time losing money for nothing was not an option, because I still had sometime left on my lunch I drove to Dollar Tree, in my mind I felt like ok this is more reasonable and I would only be wasting $2 vs. 10+. Once again, I approached the aisle of all aisles and picked up two $1 tests. When I got to the counter the cashier said would you like your receipt, I immediately said NO and she laughed. After this I went back to work and finished my day anxious to get home and finally put my mind at ease. As most women know waiting for the results of a pregnancy test are so nerve wrecking no matter the results. When I finally had some time, I went to the bathroom with my daughter following right behind me and took the test. Honestly, I just knew I was not pregnant, so I sat the test down, looked away and finished up using the bathroom. Finally, I looked up and my heart dropped, the test was 100% clear as day positive. I screamed “OH HELL NO” and immediately got my sister on the phone, we were both in shock. Of course, I called my mom next, I said “Ma what does it mean when the test is saying positive but I’m on birth control” she laughed and said Yanna that is positive you’re pregnant. After staying on the phone with her for a little bit I called back my sister, we were both still stunned because she was coming up on the last couple weeks of pregnancy herself. The next person I knew I had to tell was my husband. At the time he was a truck driver, so he was not going to be home for another week or two. I was so anxious, but I wanted to wait to tell him face to face so I took a deep breath and kept the news between me, my mom, and sister. After the overwhelming rush of shock passed, I started to become very nervous, scared, and anxious. Life was already seeming like a downward spiral and now I was pregnant with an IUD and no medical insurance. What the hell am I going to do was all I thought about until I closed my eyes that night. I remember holding my stomach thinking wow, just wow. When I got to work the next morning, I immediately told my boss I need to go to the emergency room because I tested positive for pregnancy and I was on an IUD for birth control. Nonchalantly she said we did not have anyone to cover my shift and if I could wait 2 days until they knew they would have availability. This is when I knew that if it is not happening to them some people can show lack of interest for what is going on in your life especially with work. I was so upset because I was terrified, looking up stuff on google constantly was freaking me out because I knew I was not supposed to be pregnant. There were so many risks and my job want me to wait till it is convenient for them for me to take off and see a doctor. It was hard trying to explain to someone that I was pregnant but on birth control because no one took me as serious. When my job finally gave me time off I went to the health department first and the lady I spoke with didn’t even know what to say because I was telling her I was on birth control but testing positive for pregnancy. I did not have a lot of options because I did not have money or medical insurance so despite the bill medical bill, I knew I had to go to the ER. That night when both my kids were sleeping, I told my mom in law I was not feeling well and needed to go to the ER, and she agreed to watch the kids. It was about 9:30 at night already, emergency rooms take forever and although I had to be up at 6am the next morning I needed to get this figured out. Fast forwarding throughout my night I surprisingly did not have to wait to long to be seen, I took another urine test and blood test. Once again, I spoke with the doctors and I got “this girl is wasting our time” vibes because no one seemed to be taking me seriously. After an hour or so the ultrasound technician came in and the next thing I hear is “there’s your baby”. It was so surreal I remember saying “omg I can’t believe it; I knew I was crazy”. I was a good 7wks into my pregnancy and did not even know it. Leaving the ER felt so different because I knew for a fact, I was pregnant it was official. There was still a lot of confusion and stress involved because I had no way of getting in contact with a doctor the ER doctor gave me someone to follow up with but because I didn’t have insurance I wasn’t able to pay for the appointment. This part of my pregnancy was so scary, I was that 1% who was pregnant with an IUD still in place. There were so many risks for my health and the baby’s. Everything that did not matter before mattered so much more to me. I was scared to walk, scared to jump, scared to play with my daughter because I did not want to make stuff worse. I finally got help 2 weeks later after coming across a clinic that could help me at no cost until my application for Medicaid was approved. When I saw the doctor, she immediately took my IUD out but warned me that there could be complications of a miscarriage. Apparently, my IUD was close to falling out on its own, so I guess that was easier access to being fertile and becoming pregnant. At this point I am like ok I am having this baby I know it is not the best time, but it is what it is. Hearing the word miscarriage made me so scared, I did not want to lose my baby. Unfortunately, my husband was not able to make it home when he was supposed to, so I ended up telling him I was pregnant over the phone and boy was he shocked. After a long back and forth talk we of course decided that no matter what we were going to see this pregnancy through despite how unfortunate our finances were. I had my ultrasound appointment to confirm I was still in fact pregnant and once I saw the baby I walked out with ultrasound picture in my hand like damn here we go again, but I was happy. Despite the risk of having an IUD in the earlier stage of my pregnancy I had an amazingly healthy pregnancy once it was removed. My daughter’s due date was Sep.1st and I had her Sep.6th, she was 8lbs and 4oz of perfection. The thing that gets to me is how crazy life is and it really makes you wonder why things happen. All my kids give me purpose and I believe that therefore I had my daughter she was giving me another purpose to live and be the best mom I can be. My experience with getting pregnant while on birth control is different from others but the fact is that it is possible. It is one of the most intense fears when your body reacts differently than even doctors have predicted. My journey of motherhood just got a little harder but being able to fall in love again with a life I made was so worth it.
By Maelyn Jeffers4 years ago in Families
Beyond the 9-to-5: Living with Purpose
Introduction In a society where the pursuit of career success often reigns supreme, the idea of living without a traditional job may seem unconventional or even daunting to some. However, for a growing number of individuals, the decision to forgo the traditional nine-to-five grind is a deliberate choice aimed at prioritizing personal fulfillment, freedom, and a deeper connection to life. Living without a job doesn't necessarily equate to idleness or aimlessness; instead, it can be a path towards discovering alternative forms of productivity, creativity, and meaning. Let's explore the journey of living life without a job and how it can lead to a more fulfilling existence.
By Ssekatawa Isah4 days ago in Families
Whispering Woods Challenge Winners
Congratulations to Morgan Christy Rickards for their winning Whispering Woods story, Guardian at the Gate. Morgan has been a Vocal creator since February 2021, and this is their first time placing in Challenge — well done, starting with a win! Guardian at the Gate draws evocatively from Welsh tales of the Cantre'r Gwaelod, a lost sunken kingdom between the forest and the sea. Heledd’s dangerous adventure pulls her towards the water but her spirit is anchored in the woods: Morgan’s writing is atmospheric and exciting.
By Vocal Curation Team7 days ago in Resources
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