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I have been writing a blog for a while now and it is an unusual feeling writing about things and being open and modest. Don’t forget. I am British and in our case it is not the done thing!
It makes this blog even harder to write as I look at feelings felt from the overwhelming pride obtained from your children’s actions. It’s when they go off and do something and you just feel that extra beat in your chest.
This article involves the actions of our son Gino, 13. I have already covered a few times in previous articles on the difficulty of growing up with a teenager and I have to say so far so good; gulp...
This week Jo and I were out at a gig and Gino and his brother Jaden, had an overnight stay with his Nan. The next day Jaden had to go to school, but because Gino had already broken up for school holidays he went off into the local town for the next morning with his nan.
Why the pride?
When you’re told that when he is out and about and he says please and thank you to everyone unprompted, opens doors, has conversations with others and is everything that you want him to be when out and about then the beat kicks in. He has picked up the values and behaviours you wanted him to, not necessarily those that you reflect on later as not the good ones to demonstrate! Then taking these good ones and spreading and sharing the politeness, kindness and caring to others.
To then top all this off, he made his bed without being asked, washed up his own breakfast dishes without being asked and also then cleaned the sinks behind him with such a polish that is wasn’t obvious he had been there before! Behaviours never previously witnessed at home. It’s hard enough after four reminders to get the bed made!
It’s the point where you hear about this and your chest beats and you know that a legacy has been made and almost that what you have done so far has not been in vain.
Then I just remembered a couple of days ago another proud moment. Gino being 13 and not getting together too often with his school friends, as they live in villages scattered over the county went to his friend James’s paddle-boarding birthday party in late summer. Two weeks later at another friend’s party, James’s mum came bursting towards me and said, "I am so glad to meet you, I just want to tell you how wonderful and polite Gino is and so caring, what an amazing boy!"
Dramatic? It may sound it, but it really isn’t. It wasn’t until well after the events and feedback that you reflect and piece it together, realising what has happened and then the sense of pride starts coming through.
If you asked yourself the question when your children were born of, "What do you want your legacy to be?" This might actually be it. It’s about the quality of the person and what they are like with others and not to do with the job, position or material possessions owned.
Now for the big question...
How come, we, as parents don’t get to see all of this? Why is it a non-witness event and then again if it was seen would it be taken fore granted as this is what should happen and therefore we’d never experience that sense of pride?
At least all the constant "coaching" has been worth it in the end!