Diagnosis - Grief

Grief is an entirely complex and unique illness.

And I call it an illness because I've never felt more ill in my entire life. Suffering from grief is the most pain I believe anyone can ever feel.

It's been almost 11 years since I lost my Mum to cancer, it was a week before my 21st birthday, and people told me time would make me feel better.

My opinion is they are wrong, for me anyway. Time has not healed my wounds, my wounds are still fresh, still oozing and still a constant pain in my day to day life, but I have learned how to dress them.

The morning the hospital rang us, for some unknown reason Dad said we should get breakfast. My sister, her husband, Dad and I got breakfast, none of us ate anything.

What made the morning so surreal was the people driving by the cafe going to work, going to school. I wanted the entire world to stop! Didn't they realise my Mum, my everything, my support, the only one that will ever love me no matter what was gone?

That's when the grief hit me, so strong and so forceful I nearly threw up.

Grief is an illness, it makes you shake, cry, sweat, out of breath and makes you feel intense pain. It can come and go when it pleases and can hit you when you least expect it.

Grief needs to be treated like an illness, not an emotion. It's a debilitating syndrome that affects your whole life; mentally, emotionally and physically.

And once you get it, the symptoms still persist.

I would love to tell you I have found a cure but I haven't.

Antidepressants only numb the full effects of the illness.

Counseling helps you manage your symptoms.

Breaking stuff and alcohol, substance abuse are a band aid approach.

The cure doesn't exist.

But you can take steps to manage your symptoms, but yours will be different to mine, every case is different.

Some measures that have helped me; meditation, digital detox, walking in beautiful scenery, talking with close people or strangers, counseling, starting a new course/hobby, remembering them.

Don't shut them out because it's too painful, let them be a part of your life.

Remember all the wonderful times and the love that was so strong it is still alive even when they're gone.