Dear Mom

You raised me. You know what I was taught. You know how my brain works. You know stubborn I am, how hardheaded. You know I think before I make decisions, even if the thinking process is just me saying F-it. So, before we get into this whole engagement/wedding drama there are some things you should know.

This is not my first love. I know what love is and this is it. This is not “puppy love.” I hate that term. This is it. I can tell. I write my stories, but the only love interest I can imagine is him. He is the only one that calms me down just as fast as he can make me mad. I love him. More than music. More than books. More than reading. More than a baby’s laughter. More than Lazy Sundays. The only thing I don’t love him more than is my dog. He is my child. He isn’t perfect, but neither am I. So, no I don’t love him more than my dog, but the only person that could get me through losing my dog is him.

I wouldn’t have dated him for more than three months if I didn’t really like him. I wouldn’t have dated him for more than six months if I didn’t see a future. Yes. He has his problems. We all have problems. What you see as a deal breaker, I could see as a simple roadblock. I am in this for the long run and he knows that. He agrees with me.

The butterflies are long gone. The truth is out. He knows all of my secrets. I know all of his. He knows all my mistakes. I know all of his mistakes and the stories behind them. He is calming to me. I can be pissed at everyone and everything and he can talk me back down.

You were right. We did start talking about marriage right before you accused me of the change in my behavior. (Still not why I printed the address book, though.) We wanted to talk about it. We wanted to make sure we were on the same page. We had to have the conversation before we could even think about a life-changing thing like marriage.

No, I haven’t seen much of the world. No, I haven’t really left this “bubble” of a town. Wouldn’t that all be more fun with your best friend? He is my best friend. I can’t imagine anyone else. People have come into my life and it doesn’t faze me. I know who I want to be with. I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know who I want to have a family with. I know who I want to grow old with. Is it who I thought it was going to be? No. Sixth grade me would have never thought about him the way 20-year-old me does.

So. Yes. I am young. I am crazy. I am hard-headed. I am set in my ways. I am scared of change. Do you really think I make this big of a change if I wasn’t sure? Usually, every bone in my body tells me not to change anything, but every bone in my body tells me to go for this. To just hit the gas and go. To take the leap. To take the jump. It’s scary as hell, but with all my adventures to come, I can’t wait to have him beside me. I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life with anyone else. I can't wait for him to be my adventure.

Knowing all that, I ask for your support. I will need it. Between my future father-in-law and the family marriage haters, I will need back up. I love y’all so much, and I am so grateful for everything you have ever done for me. It means the world to me. We got through rough patches, but we always make it through. Thank you for helping me become who I am. I couldn’t imagine being any luckier. I know I am young. Younger than you wanted me to be. Younger than I thought I would even be considering marriage.

Love,

Your Only Daughter