Dear Dad

From a young age little girls are told that their dads are their first loves. It is a connection that we are told no one will be able to replicate. But what happens when that same man who we believe will love us forever breaks our heart before any other man has the chance to? I am one of those girls.

When I was much younger I was the textbook definition of a "daddy's girl." I had a great relationship with my dad. He spoiled me and would have given me the world if he could have. He took me on adventures both literally and imaginatively. I was the apple of his eye, and he was my first love just like he was supposed to be.

I did start to notice as I got older and closer to middle school that he became overly protective and wanted to be in control of my life. I thought he was looking out for me at the time, but knowing what I know now I think he was scared someone was gonna steal me away from him. That at the ripe age of ten some boy was going to become my whole world and leave him in the dust. Then he met a woman that became his whole world and consequently left me in the dust.

Her name was Leslie, she was loud, obnoxious, and loved motorcycles. She had a wolf/dog mix and tattoos. I hated her. She had swept my dad off his feet and they started going on dates. One night that I vividly remember, I was eleven and my little brother nine, when he took Leslie on a date. He just up and left us home alone, with me in charge. My brother and I had cereal for dinner that night while they were off having the time of their lives. Their relationship quickly escalated and she gave him an ultimatum. It was her or his kids.

He picked her.

I was twelve years old and broken. I had terrible nightmares in the days and weeks after he left. I would wake up with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't eat anything. I was either silent or lashing out and screaming at those who were trying to help me get over it all.

It's been nearly nine years since I've seen my dad, and he hasn't called to speak to us in eight. In those nine years, I have accomplished so much without him. I got my driver's license, graduated high school, and have a full-time job. He had no part in any of them. I instead recognize my mom as my hero and the reason for my success. You see my mom and I never got along when I was a kid because my dad pretty much brainwashed me into believing she was some horrible person. That is the furthest from the truth. My mom is my best friend, we share so many great memories, and because of her love and support. I got over my very first heartbreak at twelve years old.

So to all the little girls out there who don't understand why their dad doesn't love them like all their friend's dads do. You are not alone. You will get over the first heartbreak. You will come out the other side as a better human being then he ever could be.

Oh and by the way, dad and Leslie? Broke up shortly after he left our lives. I guess karma really does come around.