Dear Dad

Dedicated to all the children who grew up to be stronger without him.

It should've been you. The first man I loved, the one who taught me how to change a flat, the man I ran to for advice. I should've been Daddy's Little Girl. Yet, some of us are lucky to get a second chance at having a father figure. I was one of the lucky ones. He grew to love me like his own, instilled the laughs I needed and the advice I longed for. He succeeded at everything you failed at. Good fathers do three things: they guide, they nurture, and they provide, all of which you did on your own account for a short period of time, and all of which he's done effortlessly and without a second thought. He taught me that he didn't have to be my father to be my father. So thank you for leaving so I could gain a dad who stayed.

Being in high school, you never wanted to find yourself growing up emotionally unstable, or staying quiet when fathers became the topic of conversation. Although fatherly topics are still touchy, I can let my voice be heard. Now, years later, I thank you for forwarding all my calls and texts. I thank you for raising your other children instead of continually raising me. Without it, I wouldn't be as headstrong and independent as I am today. As the months go on, all you become is more of a stranger to me. You only know the person I was a few years ago.

Regardless of the chaos it brought, you turning your back on me opened the door to so many opportunities. I wouldn't have the father figure I have today, nor the siblings I adore with my whole heart, if you hadn't put me on the back burner. Every moment I get I begin to thank myself for always getting back up from the effects of you disregarding me. I've overcome so much without you and I will continue to. I look for you in everything, in hopes that I become enough. Then, I remember that you don't deserve the woman I've grown up to be. You left without reason. I don't want you back with an excuse.

I finally understand that growing up without you was the best thing for me. To be truthful, I prefer it this way. I want to be mad at you and tell you that you ruined my life, yet it's really the exact opposite. I had many people take your place. Not having you made me strong, level headed, careful, detail-oriented, and happy. The experiences I have are sometimes different than those of others with two biological parents at home. I built a relationship with my mother and others that is twice as strong as it would be if you were around. I hope that one day I am half the woman and twice the parent you could ever be. I've finally come to the conclusion that, after so many months spent wondering why I wasn't enough for you, my life is perfect without your traces.

So, thank you for helping me become who I am without helping me at all. Thank you for showing me heartbreak before anyone else could. But most importantly, thank you for unknowingly opening the door for my stepdad to take your place.

To all the children who are living without their fathers, abandonment or death, we are stronger than them. We are enough. We are capable of loving and being loved.

To those father figures: a huge thank you to all that you do and continue to do. You rock.