Cousin Natalie: Yes We Will Save Your Seat!

Play SAVE YOUR SEAT on Sound Cloud.

Natalie was only 65 years old when she passed away from esophageal cancer in the summer of 2017. She was my first cousin, my father’s younger brother’s eldest daughter. For an entire year, I hadn’t heard from Natalie and found it odd every time I called, I got her voicemail and she never returned my calls. A few months before she passed away, I attended a cousin’s reunion and her younger sister Arlene, told me that she wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t make it. In the back of my mind, I knew something was wrong.

So it was quite devastating to receive a call from my mom who had just talked to Arlene and was informed that Natalie had cancer for a year and was in the hospital, with a day to live. After rounds of chemotherapy and four (unsuccessful) surgeries, Natalie was in a non-responsive state. We learned that she only let the immediate family know about her condition, as she didn’t want to burden any other family member with the news of her illness.

After the funeral I couldn’t stop thinking about Natalie. We lived close to my uncle in Queens, NY, and as kids would see our cousins often. As an adult, I didn’t see Natalie as often as I did as a child but we always stayed in touch. In early adulthood Natalie had a turbulent life, having gone through a divorce after her husband got in trouble with the law. Nonetheless she raised two great kids and was enjoying her life with a long-term boyfriend (and three dogs), living in a recently purchased house on Long Island, at the time of her untimely passing.

I felt compelled to do something creative to memorialize my cousin. My goal was to create something in which people wouldn’t forget about Natalie. So I first decided to write a song, which might capture her essence. Whether it’s a poem or lyrics, you can do this too.

In writing lyrics, you’ll always need some kind of hook, which is usually reflected in the song’s title. I decided to call my song, “Save Your Seat.” Natalie once told me a story about how she used to enjoy going over to her parents’ home and listening to her Uncle Leo play the guitar. Before she got home, she would call up and usually speak to her mother and tell her, “Save my seat.” So now this became an eternal promise: we will always “save your seat like it was yesterday.”

Save Your Seat

Verse 1: Yes we will save your seat

like it was yesterday

You would rush right home

As Uncle Leo played

It was a sad refrain

On his old guitar

Still we hear the melody

It echoes from afar

In the second verse, I bring in memories of our childhood: we used to go over to our grandparent’s apartment on Blake Avenue where my grandmother would serve us chopped liver and Gefilte fish!

Verse 2: Yes we will save your seat

As we look back in time

On Blake Avenue

We all sat down to dine

There was Gefilte fish

And chopped liver too

As we’re calling

Tears are falling

We reach on out to you

And now on the chorus I bring it back to reality as I could never get away from the image of seeing her casket in the ground (is the image too jarring? I’ll let you decide if I’m being too frank or harsh).

Chorus: Summer's come and gone

As we look upon

Your casket in the ground

We’re numb!

Oh so long ago

You played out in the snow

You left us… way too young

Verse 3 brings me to two particular photos I’m thinking of when Nat was around 10 years old. One has her sitting on the stoop of her apartment building drawing in her coloring book and another playing with her hula hoop, which most kids seemed to have way back in the 60s. Again, the more images from childhood will make your lyrics come alive.

Verse 3: Yes we will save your seat

The days have passed on by

Another photograph

And we will start to cry

There was a coloring book

On the red brick stoop

Dancing past, it will not last

You spin your hula hoop

The bridge reinforces the feeling that Nat is still with us. Instead of saying, “Natalie was your name,” I talk of her in the present tense.

Bridge: Forever in your debt

We cannot forget

Life will never be the same

We whisper in the dark

How you left your mark

Natalie is your name!

Verse 4: Instrumental

Chorus: Summer's come and gone

As we look upon

Your casket in the ground

We’re numb!

Oh so long ago

You played out in the snow

You left us… way too young

Verse 5 is my conclusion where it’s all summed up. Ultimately we must say goodbye to our departed loved ones. The tears will probably never dry but she’ll always be our “welcome guest” even though we must lay “her soul to rest.”

Verse 5: Yes we will save your seat

As we all wave goodbye

All the tears that fall

They sure will never dry

Yes we will save your seat

As our welcome guest

One more prayer

It is not fair

We lay your soul to rest

Yes we will save your seat, etc.

My other project was to create a slideshow of photos of Natalie from childhood to the last days. I called up Arlene and she was able to get a hold of Nat’s photo books and provided me with a treasure trove of images, along with photos from my own collection. I used Windows slideshow software to have the photos blend seamlessly into one another. The only thing left to do was to choose the right music. There should be one phrase in the song that really sticks out, that’ll want to make you use it for your slideshow. In Joni Mitchell’s “Cactus Tree,” I was drawn to the last line, “While she was somewhere being free.” And surely now, I believe she is free—with her spirit inside all of us, whom we will never forget for the rest of our days.