Children and Money

Many children have a million dollar taste when using their parent's money. Some adults do not have adequate wages to match a child's million dollar taste. It is wise to teach children the value of money early in life.

Children and parents teach each other about money matters.

I believe that I was one of those children who thought money grew on trees, not that my parents gave me things every time I wanted something.

As I look back on my childhood, I can remember certain instances that stand out in my memory. One thing I remember as though it were yesterday was when I asked my dad if he would buy me something and our conversation went as follows,

"Sorry sweetie, but I do not have the money right now."

"Dad, can't you just write a check and take it to the bank and get some money?"

"Honey, money does not grow on trees."

It took me a while to understand the concept that you had to work for money and put it in the bank before the bank would give you money back. This was such a disappointment for a five-year old.

I think that many young children still have problems understanding that concept. It takes a while to teach children about money, where and how they get money and how to save and spend their money. It is even more challenging to teach children how to spend money wisely. Many adults still do not know how to spend money wisely. If parents do not know this concept, how can they teach their children?

My three children are now adults with our daughter having two children of her own. Throughout the years, I will never forget shopping for and with the kids when going back to school/college. As a parent, I learned that:

• I did not know everything.
• I considered myself a wise parent but still learning.
• Kids have a fashion sense that is agreeable to their peers, not their parents.
• For kids to fit in, be accepted and acceptable to their peers, does not fit into what parents think.
• I found out that most kids do not appreciate how much clothing and accessories cost nor do they care because they did not earn the clothing allowance, so they have no problem parting with the parents' money.
• Kids would not be caught dead purchasing any clothing from clearance racks or on sale as this is the worst thing a parent could ask a kid to do. What would their friends think?

Sale items and clearance racks offer great buys.

I would humor my older son, a young teenager, when he would shop only at Hudson's Department Store, Jacobson's, or Eagle Outfitters. I remember that one year he insisted on buying his school clothes at Hudson's.

I agreed to shop at Hudson's with him, but I told him I would only buy school clothing if I felt it was a good buy, on sale, or clearance. Once I entered Hudson's boys' department, I headed for the clearance racks, and he pretended not to know me. He would not have been caught dead looking through clearance clothing or sales racks; it just seemed to be beneath his dignity.

I found this crisp blue and white pinstripe long sleeve shirt with a button collar, off the clearance rack, and held it up to show him. At that exact moment, my son held up the same exact shirt in a package.

He loved this shirt, and when we compared both shirts, there was no difference, except that mine was $18.00, off the clearance table, which I was glad to pay.

His shirt, exactly like mine, same brand, was $38.00. The only difference was his shirt was in a package, and my shirt hung on the clearance rack, unwrapped. I was not willing to pay $38.00 for the same shirt and same brand. There were no differences in those two shirts except for the price tag.

My son would not take the clearance shirt, and I would not pay $38.00 more for the same shirt. I remember that we talked to the sales lady, but she would not give us the packaged shirt for $18.00. Consequently, he did not get that shirt.

How do parents afford college? Most Do Not.

Entering college, we financed the first year of college and moved son number one with a U-Haul 1,400 miles away. After that first year of college, we told our eldest he was on his own as we could not finance any more college. If we had the money to do so, we would have given him all the money he needed and wanted. Unfortunately, we could not afford to do this.

We could not hand our oldest son money any time he asked, not saying that we did not want to do this, we could not afford to do this. He worked, rented a home, and went to college full-time, all on his own, and we helped when we could.

He financed the majority of his expenses. I am so proud of him. He certainly walked through the fire, handling many lean years until he earned his Master's Degree. Believe me when I say this hurt his dad and I much more than it hurt him. These lean years were a learning process for him and us.

He learned to pinch his pennies and live frugally. As this son became an adult and could buy his clothing, the clearance and sales racks suddenly drew his interest. He even ventured into nice resale clothing stores, and he could not believe all the treasures he found. He always dressed like a million bucks on a frugal salary.

Why were his eyes suddenly opened, because he was now using his hard-earned bucks? He has learned that money is not easy to come by and is difficult to part with when it is his money and not his parents. He worked hard to get what he earned. He now understood our point of view. If we had the money to hand him everything in life I truly believe he would not have appreciated those lean years so much. We now know that it is not good for parents to rob children of these experiences in life.

300 Percent Markup

I let other people pay the 300 percent markup at affluent malls. I would rather buy the same thing at upper scale resale shops paying a fraction of the price. If I damage a piece of clothing that I only paid $5.00 or less for, I do not feel so sorry because I did not pay the $40.00 original cost. The only thing I put a halt to buying resale is shoes, underclothing, hats, bathing suits, and swimwear. I also taught my kids not to purchase these items unless the sales tag is still on the item or the purchase is still in the original package.

Florida called son number two.

My second son was much like the first son; he has a million dollar taste and is in college and working part-time making a minimum wage. He wants to buy only the best. However, until his wages match his million dollar taste, he must settle for what he can find.

Son number two learned to look for name brand clothing with little to no wear in upper scale resale shops. He is able to get that million dollar look on a minimum wage. Both sons learned this technique as soon as they had to spend their own money.

Our second son lived on his own early after high school and had to pinch his pennies in Florida for four years. He still appreciates name brand, well-made clothing, but at resale prices. I learned not to answer all his calls for help and he learned some valuable lessons, living alone in Florida, 2,000 miles from home.

While in Florida, he could not find work and lost his car to the bank. He finally did find work but the job was four miles away. He walked to and from work for over a year, unless he could get a ride with someone. He quickly came to appreciate all that his dad and I had done for him through the years. He learned valuable money lessons on his own. He learned to save and not spend so much money. He learned how to manage money and save and is doing well.

Son number two went to school for five years for criminal justice and is paying for his education.

Dad, Mom, Two Kids

My daughter has also had it rough, the same as her brothers. All three kids had it rough in different ways that were definitely learning lessons for them and us.

Our daughter married two years out of high school, but it was seven years before she had two children. She never liked to save money and enjoyed shopping too much. After she had children, she also became very frugal with her time and money and suddenly saw mall shopping as too expensive. She believes in shopping resale, sales, and clearances and saves money whenever she can. Attitudes and beliefs tend to change when children appear on the scene.

As much as it genuinely hurts parents, it is better to let children struggle, to a degree. Hard times build character. Parents should not always help the kids find solutions to their own problems.

Over the years, I was a mom that had all the answers and fixed things that were broken in life. I bet truth be known there are plenty of fix-it mom's out there and I am not alone.

One year my daughter had a situation that needed fixing, but I had no answers and I simply could not fix the problem. My daughter had to figure this out for herself. Kids just have to figure out solutions on their own.

Our daughter earned her Associate's in Business, an LPN certification, and is working on her RN and certification in essential oils while raising two children. She paid and continues to pay for all of her education with no help from her parents.

The Money Tree Every Parent Wish

The kids no longer run to us for every little thing, unless it is an emergency. However, their dad and I stand ready to help whenever they need help or advice. We have learned a lot throughout the years, and are still learning until the day we die. Sometimes being a good listener (not a lecturer) is all the child needs.

If my husband or I can help any of the kids in their adult years, we help. If we cannot they understand. There have been times when the kids have helped us out of a touchy situation and for this we are grateful.

We found that kids and parents have to commit to working together in the current economy and help each other when the need arises. Times are tough for everyone these days and kids and parents must work together.

I believe that the lessons learned in my life as a mother have been positive lessons. The children have learned that there is nothing wrong with frugality, to a point. I would not change a thing about how we taught the kids about money.

Would I do things differently in the raising of our children? You bet because we as parents are not perfect. I believe that most parents would say they would do a few things differently the second time around. Sometimes we look back and wish we could do some things differently, but, then realize that we did the very best we could do at the time.

Do your children think that money grows on trees or mom and dad can go to the bank any time and the bank will give them more money if they ask?

Do your children think you are an ATM?

Do they think that all you have to do is write a check or swipe your ATM card anytime they want money?

Teach your child early in life about the value of money. If you get it right the first time, your child stands ready to help you, if they can, when the need arises.