Children and Mental Illness

We make sure our children are fed, clothed, and try to keep them from physical harm. But do we take into consideration their mental health? We often perceive children as innocent little beings who are supposed to be happy all of the time because children don't have to worry about the problems of life like adults. We often assume that children live happy and stress-free lives. As adults, we often wish we could be five again because, as children, we didn't have to worry about paying the bills on time or maintaining a home, etc. However, this could not be further from the truth. Many children suffer from a variety of mental health issues similar to adults. Statistics estimate that one in five children between the ages of six and seventeen years will struggle with and be diagnosed with some type of mental illness by the time they reach adulthood. Most commonly, depression and anxiety. This is why talking to your children openly about their feelings from an early age is crucial for early warning signs of any onset of mental illness.

Above all else, talking to your children openly about their feelings will give them an added sense of security and safety, which will eventually shape the kind of person they become. Even though life is hectic, make time to talk to your children. Asking how they are doing is not probing. Ask, listen, and pay attention to your children. Show them you can listen effectively and be there when challenges of any kind come up. For example, with young and even older children, ask questions like, "How are you doing? What did you do today? Did you have fun?"

This approach is a great way to start a conversation and keep communication open, because these are light and easy questions for your children to answer and talk about openly without feeling like they have done something wrong. If your children tell you that they are not okay, then calmly ask them what's going on in their lives that is creating any upset. Open-ended questions about how your children are feeling will help put them at ease so they can better elaborate on what exactly is happening. This way, you and your children can proactively come to a solution to help them solve what is bothering them. Practicing this technique from the time your children learn to talk will help set a good and solid foundation to talk about more serious issues when they are older. Yes, I am aware that parenting does not come with a book of instructions. The best way to show that you care about your children is to listen to what they have to say. No matter how trivial or insignificant. For example, when your three or four-year-old returns from a birthday party and makes a statement like, "I saw the biggest rattle snake in my friend's garage"! Ask questions like, "was it a real rattle snake or a pretend one?" How did this make you feel? What else happened at the party? This could prevent a lot of unnecessary suffering for you and your family.

Talking and listening openly without judgment can even save your children's lives. Possibly your own. So if your children seem withdrawn or are performing poorly at school, tell them that professional help is available, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not of weakness. As children become teenagers, they become less likely to want to talk about how and what they are feeling—for obvious reasons. The hormones and other parts of their natural body chemistry are changing and preparing for adulthood. Teenage years are quite possibly the most important and difficult part of human life. This is why talking and listening openly without judgment can mean the difference between your daughter becoming pregnant at the age of fourteen or your son being arrested for petty theft or arson by the time time he turns sixteen. Keep talking to your children. Even if they don't have much to say, always let them know that your door is always open if and when they need you. Let them know that they can talk about the things that are happening in their lives, big or small. As your children get ready to leave home for the first time, they will be a lot better equipped to handle stress when they enter the real world.