Broken Home

I come from a broken home. A mom, dad, and one older sister—I have them all... but we aren't all together.

There is no such thing as a normal family. If there was, what would it look like? In my life, normal is not being together. Even most of my friends and the people I know have separated parents, it's pretty sad. It's like our whole parents' generation wasn't meant to be. My parents split up when I was about eight. At the time, I didn't understand enough to really care about what was happening, probably because no one really discussed it with me since I was 'too young.' They just looked all sad but, meanwhile, I couldn't even feel anything. All I ever heard was, "Remember, it's not your fault," or "If you need someone to talk to, I'll be there," and "It'll get better."

It still hasn't gotten better, if I'm being honest. If anything, it's gotten worse. Now I understand everything, and people, including my parents, aren't scared to tell the cold hard truth. So now, I cry while trying not to let anyone notice because I hate when people try to comfort me. If they do notice, I just tell them I don't know why I'm crying, that it just happens. Even with all of my broken home friends, our situations don't come close, so we can't talk about things with each other because they wouldn't understand. The only things we rant about is stupid teen stuff. Our home lives are very different from being around each other.

There are still times when my parents end up brawling, or they talk about each other to me while being very frustrated over nothing at all. I learned to tune them out. If I don't, my life will seem so much longer and I'll probably end up crying, which is always bad. I hate crying, it makes my eyes red and puffy for hours. It's not pretty. Also, going back and forth is a struggle. They both want me to live with them, would you like a clone mom and dad? Could you use a rope to tug on instead of your daughter? I can't be in two places at once, so we have to make negotiations.

My sister lucked out being six years older. I think she feels like she got it worse, and I'm pretty sure my mom sides with her, but I know for a fact I saw a lot more bad things than she did. She got to leave for college and get married then move away. She didn't have to be around our childishly bickering parents for as long as I did. But she won't ever get that because I'm too nice to her, I don't always tell her how I really feel. Even though since she's older I got left out of part of her life. Well, I guess things have slightly improved. At least I know how to say things when they need to be said. I still can't stand either of my parents, I get depressed, sometimes anxiety, I'm kind of introverted, and I'm not very good with relationships. So... all is good. Life's great.

And no, this little backstory wasn't supposed to give advice. I just needed to write about my life and hope that I'm not the only one with these problems. But for real, if you're a broken home kid, don't forget that you have a voice, so use it. If you're ever uncomfortable, mad, or depressed, don't let it take over. Most importantly, you're not your parents. You don't have to worry about your future turning out how your parent's marriage did. It won't happen if you don't let it happen. You don't have to take my word, I know I'm still learning to get better. Remember, this is just what I think and it may not make your life any better. But if you do have similar problems, at least you know you're not alone.