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Broken Families and Deception

Family

By Phanicha PalmorePublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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Family

What’s family and why does it even exist? Does family still have value and importance? Is family something we all need or even truly want? These are only just a few questions I ponder in my own reflection upon life as I observe “the family” I branch from as well as other families I see. So much happens in life and the lives we all live. Some things have quick answers and others may take quite some time to connect the dots to for answers. From the previous questions I asked before, I would answer family is important because it’s the starting foundation of life and, if handled with the right essential care, it can be something extremely beautiful to experience. Unfortunately, not so many people come from a functional, well-balanced family. We all may have heard the old saying that everything starts at home. This statement has some validity towards everyone’s upbringing within life, but my question would be where do some families go wrong or get off track so to speak? Are some broken families beyond repair, or is the root issue much deeper on a spiritual and mental level? I personally see and acknowledge that, of course, everyone’s perception is not going to be the same for obvious reasons, but what should be the same is the genuine love, happiness, and joy that everyone should display as well as share with others.

According to some studies centered on family, parenting and domestic issues are very deep and are forms of vicious cycles that have not been broken and repaired with mature acknowledgment and actions to end the patterns. From issues of deception, betrayal, incest, drugs, physical, sexual, verbal abuse, etc., so many things go on within families that people do not address and admit to fix or heal from. Sad to say, but so many families all over the world deal with these issues and a lot of it gets swept under the rug and becomes the pink elephant in the room and/or the “Big Family” secret. Why? Why hide from, shy away from heinous acts? Why masquerade in the twisted illusion and those that are considered “family” suffer in silence? Or get deemed as crazy but in their minds they internally feel they have no one who cares, and their hearts are filled with so much pain and shamefully hurt. Some world we live in, right? Unfortunately, there are some people on this “high horse” that feel they are on some spiritual path where they feel no one is a victim and that people should just toughen up and move on; don’t throw a pity party. From one perspective I get why “some others” would say that and take that approach because a person should find strength from within to heal themselves. But from another perspective is like there is nothing against feeling your emotions on the trauma one may have felt. People don’t truly feel anymore nor understand the importance of our emotions and hardly have compromise about what others may have experienced.

I often wonder if people truly understand that the trauma, pain, and hurt our grandparents and parents didn’t heal and grow from gets passed down, and those after have to deal with the burden of all that baggage until we heal. Or the madness and bullshit of it all will continue in unfortunate cycles and get played out in numerous of ways. Families all over the world but especially those that are black must get their shit together and change; break these cycles so those after them can have greater opportunities to truly live and flourish in life in so many beautiful ways.

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