Best Co-Parenting Tips

When a schism of some kind occurs within a family, whether it be the mother or father leaving for whatever reason, a host of issues can be bred during that child's rearing. It's important to keep the children out of it at all costs, so as to ensure they aren't left feeling like it's their fault, or that they may not be the issue, but an issue. This is why co-parenting is one of the most important concepts when designing a family after a separation.

Parenthood isn't easy, but parenting can be made easy. Whether you're a single mom or single father, the following best co parenting tips will help to ensure your child isn't left feeling guilty or lonely, plus they will stabilize the relationship between you and your counterpart. You two aren't fighting in a war, you are raising your child. This aspect is at the forefront of successful co-parenting, because like it or not your child's rearing is as much your ex's job as it is yours, and accepting that early on will only ensure that you both share in positive parenting experiences on a regular basis.

Dialogue

It cannot be stressed any more than this, but dialogue is one of the most fundamental tools in these best co-parenting tips. If there isn't an open dialogue between your ex and your child, chances are only negative consequences will arise. Discussion, rather than accusation, is always the best route to take.

Not only will you have to talk with your ex partner on a consistent basis, but you will have to ensure that your child does, as well. Whether he or she likes it or not, dialogue in a co-parenting relationship is the only way of making that bond meaningful and healthy. Staying informed and keeping each other up to date will also make sure that neither of you overstep boundaries or step on the other's toes in any way. It also helps that your child sees this connection and its importance, as well, even if it is separated.

Consistency

Whether it be for rules or routine, a consistent makeup of discipline and scheduling is an important part of child rearing, so parents should be consistent with behavioral guidelines and schedule structures between households. Though all children despise them most of all, routine and structure are fundamental tools for their growth. Agreeing ahead of time on certain aspects in your co-parenting relationship will help to generate fundamental results later on.

If its schoolwork, chores, bed time, or any such activity, children should only have one aspect of discipline and scheduling amongst both homes. This will reduce stress and ensure he or she grows with the knowledge of time management and regulated behavior. Better children make for a better future, which is only a singular part of the best co-parenting tips.

Awareness

Not only will you be dealing with your ex, but your child will also be of great concern on many more occasions than just one. This is why awareness is a key concept in the best co-parenting tips, because it allows you to stay on top of your child even when he or she attempts to get something out of you, whether it is breaking a rule or testing boundaries.

Keeping up to date amongst each other is stressed in a co-parenting relationship, and will ensure your child will learn proper behavior from both elders. Always be aware of what your child is doing and how that fits into both you and your ex's parenting methods. Unified co-parenting is an absolute must and will only help other such areas be met, as well.

Recognition

Recognizing that co-parenting will not only be challenging, but emotionally taxing is a necessary step in maintaining preparedness and awareness at all times. Recognition also means being able to spot the differences between you and your ex. Whether you like it or not, you both have particular sets of qualities that assist in different aspects of child rearing.

For instance, mothers are always better at assisting when a child is sick or hurt in some way, while fathers tend to be better at fixing stuff, not simply appliances. It's important that children understand these specific traits and qualities, whether good or bad, because they will help your child denote where to go for certain kinds of assistances. It's also better that you steer them to the proper adult when in need, rather than giving them the wrong advice, which can only harm them and your relationship in the long run.

Your child is paramount.

In a Huffington Post article on co-parenting dos and don'ts, Dr. Phil himself tells us:

“You have a lot of divorces that get acrimony and finger-pointing back and forth, but at some point you hope that the parents become fiduciaries and put the child’s best interest above their own agenda."

One of the most informational ideas in the best co-parenting tips is the dual understanding that your child is of utmost importance. Neither you or your ex's wants should be met by changing your parenting style. It's not because your ex wants this or that, it should be made paramount that it is your child and the child's rearing alone that is given necessity. Nothing else.

This is a perception that should be kept of note well into the future of your co-parenting relationship, because most often than not parents will use their children as a platform to get back at their ex in some form. This is neither the time nor place for such a vindictive action. What is between you, your ex, and your child is only consequential of the co-parenting formula you and your ex have devised. Don't reel your child into any internal issues you and your ex may have between each other.

Don'ts

To finish this list of best co-parenting tips, I thought I would leave a few don'ts as a reference point. For starters, a child's emotions should be the number one thing you stay mindful of, because burdening him or her with any type of issues concerning your ex is not fair to either party, and it's just plain wrong. Don't air out bad laundry as a form of parenting, your adult issues should remain such, in order that your child grows in a stress-free and emotionally positive environment.

Another perfect example of what not to do in a co-parenting relationship is condemn or punish your ex. If your child says something in regards to your ex, just remain silent and let it pass, or explain to them the importance of said parent's being. Likewise, you should not be making your ex look bad in your child's eyes. Being vindictive and using your child to get back at your ex should never even cross your mind, so leave your internal parental issues to yourself.

Finally, remain balanced. You want to be a sporty mom or a chill dad, but oftentimes this only causes issues in either the other parent's parenting or in the child's overall rearing. Negative feelings should be ridden at the outset of your designed co-parenting formula, and if none has been accurately made, follow your own plan of action with your ex present. Though you may be separated, it shouldn't have to be a cutthroat experience, and it won't be if you follow the best co-parenting tips.