Believing in LGBTQ+

Not everyone has the same opinion, preference, or outlook. Everyone is different in their own way and that is what makes us diverse. The one area of criticism that seems to have the most criticism is one's sexuality. Being a lesbian teenager, I regularly face multiple levels of criticism and poor attitudes from individuals who aren’t accepting of it. I know that I am different from many other people in a multitude of ways; vision for change, being an openly gay teenager, and familial support.

My ultimate goal is to be a teenager who brings change to the stigma and help mold others perspectives on an individual's choice of sexuality. I want people to make judgements based on a person rather than their choice of a significant other; to judge a person based on their personality rather than categorizing them as a “bad person” or “disgrace” because of the person they love.

Talking to other gay people, many will say that they knew from a very young age that they were different than others, and that has been my experience. This is not a choice. It is something inside that we do not control or “decide” to do. Being an openly gay teen has brought positive and negative support. There are many people in my life that support me and are proud that I feel confident enough to be honest about it. There are far more that are critical and that has impacted my teenage life. Where most kids are hanging out with their girlfriends or doing sleepovers, I have had friends whose parents do not want them to stay the night or me to be in their room. I can only imagine what the fear is... maybe their children will “turn gay” or I will be inappropriate with them. In either case, it is not something you can catch nor does a gay person randomly decide they want a relationship with a straight person. We interact in relationships the same as any other person and have friends with both sexes like any other person does. As an openly gay teenager, there was and is never a time where I haven't felt ashamed or looked down on because of the person I am. I have many friends who haven’t felt comfortable enough sharing their story and for them I would like to be their strength and support to feel loved no matter what.

I have been very fortunate with a loving and supporting family. I lived a few years pretending to like boys so that I fit in with others and in turn it really impacted me emotionally. I felt alone and depressed. My mom used to tell me that I could share anything with her and no matter what it was, we would get through it. I took that leap and decided to share the news with my family at 13-years-old. I remember crying in my room and asking my mom to come in and talk to me. Through my tears, I shared that I didn't like boys but instead liked girls. I was afraid but there was no turning back. To my surprise, I got a warm response and a hug. My mom and dad (step) have always reminded me that I am their daughter and they will always love me without conditions. Although there were many difficulties along the path of others realizing that I am lesbian, my family was supportive and ensured me that I had nothing to worry about or be ashamed of. This was a huge relief for me. To be a gay teen and feel that everyone is judging you is difficult but not having a supportive family makes it unbearable.

I did face a couple hurdles within my family, though. It wasn’t all happy and accepting. When I told my biological father that I was lesbian, he shrugged it off and laughed as if I was joking. He used to tell me that I couldn’t have a boyfriend and I would reply, “You don’t have to worry about that.” When he found out that I liked girls instead, he had nothing to say. Let me preface this story with a little background on my biological father: this man did not have any involvement in raising me. My step dad raised me and I consider him my dad. My biological father was in and out of my life for 13 years, but thinks he is the best parent ever. After not having a relationship with me, nor knowing anything about me, he went on to tell my mom why she let me “be this way.” My mom was asked why she did not force me to like men. I was with my mom when he called and overheard the conversation. Fortunately for me, his opinion didn’t hurt my feelings, but I think that this is very unfair and the usual response of a family member.

This world that we call home is the way it is because of the diversity we live in. There is beauty in diversity and because someone does not fall into the “norm” doesn’t mean that they should be treated as if they are some kind of extinct animal because of what gender they decide to love. For me to be who I am today is a direct result of the positive people in my life, but the negative ones as well. I am fortunate to live in a community that is liberal and has a large number of people in the Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual Transgender (LGBT) community.

Being Straight, Bi-sexual, Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, etc. is a natural feeling. Nobody gets to choose who they are. It just makes you who you are. In this case, I’m a lesbian and I’m proud to be who I am. I am very grateful to have a supporting and caring family that has stuck by my side through this process. I do not have to live under false pretenses or fear acceptance. There will always be people who are not accepting of it and that's ok. They do not see life through my eyes. I believe that every person should feel loved and supported no matter what their sexuality is and I will continue my vision for teenage awareness and support.