Being Adopted

Since two days after I was born, I have lived with my adoptive parents. It was a planned adoption; my birthmother had long before birth decided she was placing me for adoption because she felt it was the best decision for me.

The process she went through to pick the couple that she would place me with involved a series of letters to the birthmother from the couple wishing to adopt. From what I was told, two out of the three letters sounded similar to business proposals and my mom's sounded more sincere and genuine. My parents had been trying to have a child of their own but were unsuccessful. They had also been chosen as the adoptive parents before but the birthmother changed her mind once she had given birth.

I have known that I was adopted ever since I can remember. It didn't change how I looked at my parents or my birth parents. I did know that I was lucky to have the adoptive mom that I do. My dad isn't your role model kind of dad but he was around when I was growing up. My mom, on the other hand, was and still is my biggest supporter, my rock, and my everything. She taught me everything that I know and I'm learning more from her each and every day.

I have had contact with both my birth mother and birth father. I know more about my birth mom just because she was involved in the adoption process and was always kept up to date with my life. My birth father, when he was first asked, said he wanted to have me aborted but when that option was taken off of the table, he agreed to give me up for adoption.

Knowing this, I don't think badly of him. I know at that point in his life that he had other stuff going on and I was the last thing that he wanted to be added to his plate. My only two cents that I want to put in on his views at the time is that he should've been smarter about what he was doing and should have been more cautious of his actions. I do know that he has three other daughters with his now ex-wife. The four of them don't know that I exist which is kind of a stab in the gut but again, I understand why they don't know.

My birth mother has one daughter and three sons with her husband. I have met all of them and have even gone out of the country on a vacation with them. It's nice spending time with them and getting to know them and I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to know them and know where I came from.

My adoption is definitely not the normal adoption; a lot of my friends that were made through the adoption agency had closed adoptions and have no idea of who their birth parents are or what they were like.

From my experiences and knowledge of adoption, I do know there is no way that a birthmother can guarantee that the adoptive parents are the "perfect" or "ideal" couple that will do everything that they can to ensure their new child has the best life possible. My mom is amazing, my dad, as much as I hate to say it, is subpar. But I am extremely grateful for the life and opportunities that I have been given that I would not have otherwise had the chance to live.

After growing up adopted, and knowing everything that I know now from my experiences to just my general knowledge, I will without a doubt be adopting at least one of my children. There are so many children who live in foster care or are orphaned and they deserve the best chance at a great life that they can get and if I could have the opportunity to make a difference in just one of their lives, that would be one of the highlights of my life.