Being a Young Mum!

I myself was a young mum. I fell pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 18. Now... there are a lot of bad opinions and so-called facts around the subject of being a young mum. Some say that, if you’re not a certain age or over a certain age, then you are more likely to be considered a bad mum!! From my experience, everyone is so quick to judge and add their opinions when it may not have been wanted.

Falling pregnant at 17 was so much harder, for so many more reasons than anyone could ever think of. First, you have to get over the shock and come to the fact that you really are pregnant, which is a very scary and emotional thing to go through. As people say, your life is only just beginning! And, yes, I can see why people may say this. You’re fresh out of college and have got so many decisions to make next regarding your future. By people saying, “But your life is only just beginning,” they are actually being really insulting and hurtful. Firstly, yes, I’m aware my life is just beginning, but that by no way means because I am pregnant at 17 that my life has not began, because everyone makes plans for their future; but, to be totally real with you, not many of those plans happen when people want them to or even happen at all. You can plan your life, etc.

1. Get a good job.
2. Travel.
3. Fall in love.
4. Get married.
5. Have you own place.
6. Save money.
7. Have a baby.

You see, everyone I went to school with basically wanted to follow that list of plans and ambitions for their life, and I can tell you about ten perecent of my year have maybe followed that list and only got to number two. You can try and plan for life, but life goes in its own direction, and things don’t always happen when you want them to.

Once I came to the fact and got over the shock, I was fine and had to start thinking about my next steps. Me and my partner obviously did not have our own place yet as we were only 17, but we were living together at his mum's in a medium-sized room that was just big enough for us both, let alone the baby that was due in seven-and-a-half months' time. We both had jobs; we weren’t earning thousands a month that some people think you need to be earning to have a baby, although it would’ve been nice! No, we made do and made sure that our baby had everything he could possibly need.

I personally got a lot of stick the further on in the pregnancy I got. We kept the pregnancy a secret from basically everyone excluding our family members until I was just over 20 weeks. Oh, and that was when it all started getting negative:

“You’re way too young to be having a baby.”

“I can’t believe you went through with the pregnancy.”

“Your life is over.”

I don think people fully understand the impact some words have towards people, especially a pregnant teenager with enough hormones in her to supply two-thirds-pregnant women in their 20/30/40 and so on. It hurt. I took it all to heart because how can you not. But one thing I did was to never let it affect me in any other way. Yes, I took it to heart, but that doesn’t mean I believed all that was said. I lost all my friends because they were going in a different direction with their lives than me and basically only had family around me at the time of the end of the pregnancy. I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy and felt amazing. It was me, my partner, and our baby boy from now on. Our own little family.

Babies don’t stay small for long at all, so when our baby got to six months and was trying to crawl, we got our own place in between both sides of the family, and it was perfect—our own home. It had a big enough garden for us all, two big bedrooms, separate bathroom and toilet, a big kitchen, and huge front room. What more could we have needed?

Our son grew here. He accomplished so many things in the first couple months of living here, and we were such proud parents, and, almost a year on, our boy is an 18-month-old, happy little baby who is growing and surprising us by learning new things every single day. Life is great! Me and my partner are still working, and we are the happiest we have ever been and so is our baby. Me and my partner accomplished quite a lot from finding out we were having a baby to now, and we are so proud of ourselves for what we have achieved.

Being a young mum does not make you a bad mum by any means! Everyone takes their own directions in life, and no two lives are the same, which is so so special because I love the thought that my life is unique and special to me. I wouldn’t change my life for anyone else’s, not in a million years.

Look at that smile!!