Being a Teen Mom

If only being a teen mom was easy. I wish I could say it was. Life is great at first, I will admit that. Finishing high school with a beautiful baby girl snuggled up with you. What could be more perfect?

Let me tell you. Jobs are a lot harder to find. A lot. Your hours revolve around your child, and if you live in a small community like me, chances are with only your high school and that half year of college you flunked out of, it will not be enough to get you a decent—if any—job in the hours you need them to be in.

I have personally applied for so many jobs. I had one job. I loved it. They didn't care I was pregnant...yes, pregnant...again, with a one-year-old. They said they were super supportive and proud to be a flexible company to work for. Let me tell you, that was so far from the truth. I was in and out of the hospital in the first few months of this pregnancy, up until roughly 19 weeks. I always provided my employer with doctor's/ER notes. One day I found myself locked out of the building. My access card wasn't working. I stood there confused. Everything had been fine the day before. I stood in the cold Canadian March winter wind, freezing for a solid 30 minutes before someone finally decided to let me in the building.

I was then led to the conference room and told someone would be there to speak with me shortly. I knew right then what was going on. In walked two ladies. I started crying almost immediately. They told me I had missed too much time, and they didn't care that I was in and out of hospital. I had made up as much time as I could. I tried so hard for that job.

I left the building crying. I hated myself. I didn't want to tell my fiancé. He would be so disappointed in me. I managed to come up with the courage to text him and tell him the news. He told me it was alright and there would be more jobs. I wish there were.

Here I am, almost 28 weeks pregnant with our beautiful baby boy. I'm 18, no job, no food in the fridge, my fiancé working overtime, not being able to properly provide for our now 15-month-old, feeling like a failure.

Being a teen mom is not a glamourous job. Being a mom in general is not a glamorous job. I have dreams of being able to provide for my family, and one day I will. It may not be right away, but I will try my best to come up with an income and make sure the bills get paid and there is food on the table. It may not be easy, but I will try my hardest.

I wish I could tell all the teen moms out there the secret, but there isn't a secret. Sometimes you will be a failure, and feel like a failure. It happens. Everyone gets there at some point. One day, it will all be okay. I can't tell you when that day will be, because I don't even know, but when I get there you will be the first to know.