Being a Mum in 2018

I stumbled across this platform on Facebook. "Write about what you love" it said.

So I wondered what do I love, my girls are pretty cool, I have two... one is eight, one is tree, and they could not be more different.

The first has more sass and intelligence than any of her genetic contributors, I have my suspicions she may come to rule the world.

She is the sort of child who was somehow born an adult, I think I first realised this when driving past a funeral home on our road, there was an ambulance parked outside. Without missing a beat, she pipes up with her dry sarcastic humour.... "Wow, Tory cuts really have gone too far, look at that mum, they are a bit late aren't they?" Or perhaps it was when she decided to marry her two barbie dolls,

"Would you like a Ken?" I asked.

"Sigh, for goodness sake mum, Barbie doesn't need a man to complete her!"

She is in equal quantities the most intelligent and terrifying child I have ever met!

Then there is my three year old, she was born with no need for sleep, or rest. Volume set to max and an aptitude for taking life in its stride and making the best of everything. She was non verbal till she was almost three — simply because she just didn't fancy talking. She is a little whirlwind of energy and terror wrapped up in a cute butter wouldn't melt exterior. It is the sort of butter wouldn't melt exterior that convinces you, despite all your intentions and goals, to breastfeed till they are three and you officially feel like Daisy the dairy cow running a free buffet service to a child with a full set of gnashers, who can talk and walk and who you dread will end up asking for bitty at college... (don't worry, I did put my foot down in the end 😂).

They are polar opposites, they both drive me totally crazy and yet fill each day with love, excitement and life lessons.

I think one of the hardest things about being a parent in our generation is the expectations... far from the past where occasionally some food could be thrown in their general direction. Now a parent must somehow manage to emotionally stimulate and fulfill their children without over stimulation or exposure, be all-seeing, all-knowing and yet not helicopter, and give their children choices and control over their lives without removing your overall authority. All in all it's not the easiest time to be a parent.... but it is a great time to learn.

Since being a mum I have learned many things, as a child I remember looking at adults as being all superior, always right, always perfect and feeling so incredibly let-down when opinions differed or mistakes were made, judgements passed etc., to be able to admit as a parent, I am not perfect. Sometimes I am wrong, question me, question everyone, I love you but sometimes I get it wrong, I am human, you are human, and that's OK. This was a huge stepping stone towards achieving a level of parenting I was happy with.

To do this and retain respect, raise a well-mannered child, and keep control is a rollercoaster ride but I think (so far touch wood) I am getting there.

I have my doubts people will read this blog, who knows? If they do... hi there and welcome to my rollercoaster journey, if not if one day I can show this to my daughters and I will be happy enough.

But this is my blog, of my life, raising my children through life's many obstacles in the crazy, scary overwhelming time we live in.

We mums judge ourselves and each other so much, but in reality we are all doing the best we can for us and our families. I hope this frank account of the ups and downs of family life helps make other mums like me laugh, smile, or just feel a little less crazy, alone, and isolated. I live in a house that could be cleaner.... and that's OK. Sometimes we go to bed still covered in paint or mud from the day, sometimes we stay in our pajamas and build blanket forts all day, sometimes we go to bed late, sometimes I move the clock forward half an hour when I simply cannot wait for bedtime, sometimes my eldest catches on and laughs and helps keep my secret with a nod and a wink, sometimes I pack a picnic for the park because I can't be bothered to cook dinner, sometimes I leave the washing on a little too long, and we eat a carpet picnic on paper plates when I have had a bad day... I am not perfect BUT that is OK!

From me and my girls — a first hello, and goodbye for now. We shall be back soon.