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Becoming a Woman Without a Mother

Growth is definitely a process.

By Alex FullerPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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As kids, we believe our parents are superheroes; you know, always there to pick us up, knowing exactly how to make us feel better, and, if you're lucky, understanding you. I was a lucky one. I grew up in a two parent household where my mom was a childcare provider and my dad worked security. Life was good, and as I got older, I had a bond with my mom that I knew was closer than other girls had with their moms at that age. She understood me, encouraged me and made sure I was heard. The funny thing is, I didn't realize all of this till it stopped being that way.

The summer of 2011 I was back in NY visiting my grandparents like we did every summer. One night, my aunt and a family friend came by and called a family meeting. As we gathered in the living room, my aunt called another aunt of mine and she spoke to us on speakerphone. Now, I don't remember the entire conversation, but all I know is that it ended with me, at 14, finding out my mom had terminal cancer.

As you can imagine, I was torn apart, confused, and had a million and one questions running through my mind. At the end of that phone call, all that I wanted to do was head back to Georgia and be with her.

The next year was difficult. We spent a lot of time in the hospital and doctor offices. There were a lot of prayers and tons of hope and time where each of us believed she would beat it. This woman, my mother, was a fighter. Unfortunately, cancer fought harder, and won exactly a week before Christmas of 2012.

As you know, high school is hard enough, but going through three years and many milestones without a mom was nearly impossible, but I did it. I did it with the help of the amazing community I was placed in during this dark time.

After high school, I had to some deep soul searching. I had to figure out who I was outside of the emotional trauma I faced for now about four years. I had to learn how to grow up, handle my emotions, express my self, all while still having a hole no one could fill.

Losing my mother was clearly the worst thing that has happened to me, but the best thing to come out of it was finding women to inspire me and give me examples on how to be strong and independent while also being gentle and willing to lean on others when I need to.

It's been a long and tough journey, but I'm grateful for it and excited to see where I end up at the end of it.

grief
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About the Creator

Alex Fuller

Hey y’all, I’m Alex and I’m here to give y’all an insight on my thoughts..all of them...so stay tuned and hope you enjoy!

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