Ashlee Nicole
Stories (1/0)
Dear Dad
Dear Dad, The day is half way gone and I've spent most of it trying to ignore the obvious, but I won't let it go by without acknowledging you. I'd never do that. It's been 26 years to the day that you were taken from me. 26 years. I've come to terms with the fact that I don't know how to grieve. I don't know how to properly and healthily process what happened. I feel like I start the grieving process over and over again. It never stops. It doesn't get better. It never gets "easier." I hate myself sometimes because I can't remember what your voice sounds like. That drives me crazy. 1991 didn't have the technology of today so I don't have any recordings or videos or anything where I can just hear your voice. I daydream about how different my life would be of you weren't taken from me. I think about the impact you would have had on who I turned out to be as a person. I feel like there is a void there that will never be filled. That could never be filled. Had I known we only had five years to squeeze in a lifetime of memories, I would have fought to spend more time with you. I would have spent all of my time with you. All I have left are fading memories, and stories of your past from people who knew you better than I did. Every once in a while I have to tell one of your old teammates that you're no longer with us. They stare at me with pity in an awkward silence. It's been a pretty weird couple of decades.
By Ashlee Nicole6 years ago in Families