An Open Letter to the Boy Who Decided to Opt-Out of Being a Father

I don’t hate you for walking out on my child, I’m not even mad you decided to leave. You made a choice I would have NEVER expected from you, but I can also say I'm not surprised. You never stuck around when times got hard. I just never thought you'd leave your child in the process. But it’s nights like these that the resentment hits me. The nights when my son is sick and after a long night at work, I’m still up til the early hours of the morning because he’s so uncomfortable he can’t sleep. The nights where I can’t seem to get him settled down because having a cold— everything in his little body just aches and feels terrible. The nights where I fall asleep for 5 minutes thinking he’s finally ok enough to get some rest, only to be woken moments after dozing off. It's the days where I am worried all day at work, with my child in the back of my mind. Calling every break I get to see if there's any improvement. You don’t even care to check up or ask if he’s ok. You have absolutely NO idea when he's even sick, or getting an immunization, or needing daily (expensive) probiotics. You know nothing about his health, nor do you care. He's been to the hospital twice, do you have any idea as to why? Of course you don't. Don't even get me started on the financial aspect of this. Co pays, pharmacy costs, otc medicine—that’s all on me because fuck a job when you’re put on child support right? Instead of supporting and financially helping, which is the least you could do—you quit your job and claim you cannot find another. But that's a story for another time.

I don’t hate you for walking out on my child, I’m not even mad you decided to leave. I'm disappointed that even though you don't want to be a part of his life, you don't care to check up. Anything could have happened to your son and you'd have no idea. Because abandoning all responsibility and living your life is more important right? My entire life revolves around this beautiful human, that you helped create and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sorry you feel differently. I’ve lost all respect for you as a person, a man and as a father. Which is probably the saddest part of all of this. You don’t deserve to be called a father, you don't deserve the joys of my child, nor do you deserve anything good. I don't wish bad upon you- but you abandoned a child and that's the lowest thing you can do.

Regardless of how stressful it gets and the long sleepless nights, I STILL thank you for giving me the opportunity to spend 100% of my time with him. I thank you for being out of his life so he can be loved by those truly care and put him first. One day you’ll wake up and realize all you’ve missed out on and when that day comes—it’ll be too late. It already is 👋🏼🖕🏼💋

I don’t hate you for walking out on my child, I’m not even mad you decided to leave. But please, PLEASE; do not return when things get easier. Or when he is older. You will only be ruining all that I have worked so hard to accomplish with him. I refuse to co parent with someone that has the mindset of his 15 month old son. Thank you for abandoning him. He will see the truth as he gets older and he will know, who was there.

- A tired ass mother