An Open Letter to My Kids

To my babies:

I never was ready to be a mom! I never thought I had it in me to take care of you. But I do! I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. So much that some days my heart could burst if it were allowed. The three times that I endeared the joys of giving birth to you all left me speechless and filled with tears the moment I looked at each of your little eyes. I did that and was a part of creating you.

As a parent, you always hope to have support from the other parent but in some circumstances, it doesn’t always go that way.

I want you to know that I gave it my all but I also grew with each and every one of you in our journey through our lives together. Before each of you I never would have thought of taking the responsibilities on of another life. I was a care free and independent woman that had a lot of growing up to do. Obviously someone from above decided that I needed that realization as well.

To my son: Thank you for teaching me the ropes of young motherhood and prepping me for your sisters to come. Thank you for always loving me even when I wasn’t always there because of work or me just wanting to be a younger adult. Thank you for accepting the fact that you couldn’t always get what you wanted because of money and later in life because of your sisters. Thank you for being the helper even when you wanted to just be a kid and ride your bike or color a picture without someone else following you. I know you will always be a caring and helping person because you have done this all your life from the moment you were born.

To my daughters: The road will always be rough but know that I am and have always tried to be the smooth sailing path for you. Having you both within a year of each other was a blessing but a hardship. Double the diapers, double the childcare and double the attitudes ;) But I will always be here for you and have been since day one even when your other creator never tried. You two were my wake up calls to find a career and push myself harder to do better for you both. You both made me realize the toxic life and brutality I went through to “work it out for the kids” lifestyle just wasn’t my path. You made me the truly independent and strong willed women I am today. I know that is the reason you both were sent to me at the timing you came. It was simply perfect. Perfect because before you two I was a fool. A fool to believe that everyone is loving and caring and going to “be there” for you every day through thick and thin. And I say this with the notion that it can be true but it also can be a realistic thing. In these circumstances right now, the people who are there for you are the ones you may never think would be.

I thank you all for showing me the struggles of single mom role to the fullest but also pushing myself to get out of the struggle. I know when you see this that I will be overcome and successfully set because each and every day I strive for the three of you.

Lastly, thank you for showing me love. Before children, I had no clue until I kept myself awake watching you sleep when you were sick to make sure you were okay. Or coming home from a long day at work to make dinner and give baths and play every toy in the house just to tuck you into bed and give you a kiss good night. Even when you make a mess or give me attitudes, just to see that little smirk lets me know that you are all genuinely happy and have it good because you have a loving mom there to make sure you are set on the right paths.

I know each of you will do great things and always know that I will be right behind you three pushing you to your full potential to do amazing things because you three did it to me. Whether you knew it or not but thanks for giving me the most amazing life any single mom could ever ask for!

—Love, Mom