An Open Letter to My Grandmother/Best Friend

An open letter to my grandmother/my best-friend,

Eighteen years. That's the time I was given with you. And right now those eighteen years simply did not seem enough. Someone once asked me to describe you in one word; and I was speechless, because someone like you cannot simply be described in one word. In eighteen years, I have been able to come up with many words to describe the astonishing person you were, although words could never truly grasp how wonderful you were as a human being. One must know you to completely understand. And even though eighteen years was not very long, I am completely grateful for the time I had with you. You were not just my Nannie, but my second mother, and best-friend. No matter what, you were there for me. It's heart breaking not having you around anymore. Every little thing reminds me of you, and it's hard not being able to escape the reality that you are gone. People ask me how I'm doing, and I always seem to answer "Okay, thank you," when truthfully I don't know what to do with myself. Every time someone says your name, my heart sinks a little and all theses memories go flying by. I know that I had "lots of wonderful memories with you" because everyone tells me that, although when I think back to every second of time I had with you, I always find something that I could have done differently, something I could have changed. I could have put my phone away more, or helped you more, told you that I loved you more, just so many things I could have done. That I didn't. Cancer stole my best friend, my person, my Nannie. Cancer stole everything and I am so mad. Because not only am I trying to deal with my own pain now, but I am also now forced to be strong for my Grampie. Seeing him hurt makes everything so much harder. Oh Nannie, he misses you so much. We all do. I am trying to be strong because I know that's what you would want from me, but it's so hard because you were taken from me to soon. I still need you. I will never forget that day, as I held your hand and watched you take your last breath. I will never forget you.

"You need me, and I need you." - Beverly Ann Steeves

I love you, Nannie, forever and always.