An Embarrassing Story

Let me just start this funny short story off by saying, I'm really awkward. Like, way worse than even Princess Anna of Arendelle (from Frozen) awkward. I'm also really clumsy. Horribly clumsy, even. My dad used to call me Grace as a kid, simply for the blatant fact that I was so ungraceful. That's the truth. I'm quite familiar with tripping, and falling, and running into people, but one day, I had to go and be clumsy in Disney World. Yeah, I had to go and mess up the happiest place on the whole earth.

This is one of my very first memories of going to Walt Disney World. My family started going religiously when I was about two years old, but I think at the time of this memory, I was somewhere around the impressionable age of four or five. (Poor me.) I remember it pretty clearly. I, Lena Elizabeth Moore, was going to go get to meet PRINCESSES. Real life Disney princesses. My favorite ever was Princess Jasmine (I dressed up like her for like seven years straight for Halloween) but on this day, I was going to go visit Cinderella, and maybe even some of her cute little mice friends in aprons. I was ready. Kinky black hair, a crop top that wasn't supposed to be a crop top (all of my shirts were like that, I had some really nice baby fat), and some capris. I looked like I stepped off the pages of Vogue, I'm sure. Let's do this thing.

I walked into the building, waited in line with my family, autograph book and pen ready in hand, and then finally, I saw her, Cinderella, a classic Disney princess. Best day ever, right? I thought so. For like a whole sixty seconds. I ran up to her, and she bent down to meet me all elegantly and princess-like, with her dress swooping down into a sparkling puddle on the floor. She hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her neck equally tight. I was hugging a princess! A real-life Disney princess! But then...I was stabbing a princess. A real-life Disney princess. In the neck. With my autograph pen. Yep. That was me. Typical Lena. Even at that young of an age. I was now, the princess impaler. Horrified gasps echoed throughout the royal princess hall, and cast members rushed to Cinderella's aid. There was a long black pen streak down her neck. I was mortified. I was sure that her Fairy Godmother was going to royally bippity boppity boo me right out of the place. But of course, Cinderella was beauty and grace, even with ink all over her throat. I wasn't trying to be a murderer! I just wanted to hug some royalty, but Cinderella had to leave then, she was whisked away by her cast member friends to go see Prince Charming. They probably had an aesthetic lunch date planned or something. But I will never, ever live that moment down, in all of my days. Ever.

Maybe this story can be relatable to something embarrassing you've done in public, though! Surely, somewhere out there, someone has got to be as clumsy as me, right? No? Well, at least maybe you'll get a small laugh out of this. I have plenty of embarrassing stories to share, at my expense. Like the time I was trying to be a model in a store window at the mall, and wet my (really attractive hot pink) maxi skirt right there in the window? Yeah, I'll save that one for another time.

The End.