An Angel in the Shape of My Mom

Mother's Day 2019.

The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her children before herself, and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. Just telling her your problems makes you feel better, because she always knows how to make it all go away. Even if you fight, you know that she's just looking out for your best interests. Where would I be without my mom?

Who is my Mom?

My mom grew up in a broken family. She had a broken childhood; a childhood cut short. She didn't deserve the pain she went through.

My mom was raised by her grandmother in Mexico. She grew up with her aunts and uncles, considering them siblings to this day. She lived in poverty there in Mexico. Only a child, she wasn't fully aware of the level of poverty she lived in. She spent her days out there with her grandmother; calling her "Mama," riding the bus into town with her to go grocery shopping, learning everything she knows about cooking because of her, looking up to her, and those she called her siblings.

At a very young age, she was taken away from that. My mom was forced to move to the United States with her biological mom, so that she can take care of her biological sibling. This was the point at which her childhood was cut short. She was brought to an unfamiliar country, moved into a small place with unfamiliar people, and enrolled into a school in which she knew nothing of the language.

There were nights where she'd be left all alone at home, because the adults she lived with were out for the night, and wouldn't return until morning, living day after day with her feelings, and health not taken into consideration. Her school days were no easier. During recess, she'd go out into the field, sit, and admire the flowers that were on the grass. Flowers much like these:

There's a lot more to tell about how broken my mom's childhood, and family were. This isn't my point though. My point in this first part is to tell you who my mom is.

I read a lot of this sort of thing on social media. A lot of "I grew up in a broken family, I will not raise my children the same." And I just want to tell them all about my mom. Every time I read something like that, I take a moment to thank God that I don't relate to that in any way. My childhood was amazing. I have nothing but good memories, and I don't know how I'm going to be as good of a mom, as my own mom is.

My mom did that. She married her perfect man, and raised her children in a way that no one would ever suspect the pain and hardship she had to go through. It wasn't easy. My mom taught me that nothing that's handed to you on a silver platter is worth having. Nothing good is easy. She worked so hard for her own family to grow up differently than she did. She endured seasons of struggl,e but it only made her stronger. She's as strong as she's ever been. She did it.

You've heard of the phrase, "Home is where the heart is" right? Wherever we may be in the world, she always finds a way to make it feel like home. I realized that it's not the place we're in, but the people we're with. My mom is home. My heart is, and will always be with her.

This is who my mom is. A woman who, through the rubble that was left from the storm that was her childhood, planted herself firmly, and bloomed with grace.

The flowers she would admire reminds me a lot of the quote, "Wherever God plants you, bloom with grace." She did just that. My mom continues to bloom ever so gracefully. That's her. She takes the pain, and turns it into something beautiful. She is so good at that. I don't think she sees it herself, but I really hope she does one day. I hope she sees how amazing she is.

How is my Mom?

Words cannot fathom how grateful, and proud I am to be called her daughter. I couldn't thank her enough for showing us what unconditional love is. She always put our happiness before her own. I never thought that unconditional love existed, but truly a mother's life is living proof that love has no boundaries. We do not have every luxurious thing in the world, but having her beside us is beyond enough. Every time she's around, everything seems right. I feel safe under her wings. How could I ever live without her?

I can still remember the days when I was just a little girl, learning how to read and count. She was my first teacher; every single morning, she would wake me up and so lovingly brush and braid my hair. When Dandy and I were out of school, she would be just outside the school gates with her open arms, waiting for us to run in for a hug. She would help us with homework and projects. She would pray with us before big exams. She drove us to school for most of our lives, getting us there on time every single day. She was there for every award, as small as a perfect attendance award in elementary school, to as big a thing as a high GPA district recognition award. She packed me lunch in high school, and college, cooked dinner for us every night, and she did everything with love. I never heard her complain about any of this. She went to my first concert with me; surprising me with tickets to a Miley Cyrus concert in my lunch box as a seventh grader. She loves selfies, although neither of us are very good at taking them. She loves it when other people love her food, and she is the BEST party hostess. She gets so excited with anything that is going on with me at school, or at work (she probably gets more excited than I do). On days that I'm notably more tired than usual, she'll offer to drive me to work. When I tore my meniscus in 2017, she didn't let me drive to school, because she was worried. I fainted three weeks ago early in the morning; ever since then, if I ever get up to pee in the middle of the night, she also gets up to check on me. Our family dog passing away hit me like a freight train, and though she was in pain too, she put on a brave face, and took care of me so well. She always cuts me fruit, and brings me water on nights that I'm up late studying. And this is not even including all that she has done for my younger brother and my dad. If I were to include that, this paragraph would never end. I can't emphasize enough how amazing she is.

Day and night, you were there for us as much as humanly possible. Every night at bed time, you would tuck me in, and pray with me–and Mama, I thank you for that. Thank you for loving me in times that I am not so lovable. Thank you for lifting me up when I am at my lowest; thank you for being my biggest fan. Thank you for raising me with such kindness. Thank you for teaching me not to settle for less. Thank you for knowing my worth, even when the world doesn't. Thank you for believing in me when I don't even believe in myself. Thank you for staying, and I know you'll never go, even if the world turns its back on me. Most importantly, thank you for the unconditional love that you show us every single day. You deserve the world, and I'm sorry that its taken me a long time, but I'll give you everything you deserve one day. I will. Trust me, Mama. One day, I will.

My mom deserves a lot of credit for being there for me through everything. I find myself thinking of everything she has done for me, and I can't think of anyone better who could have raised me besides my her, and my dad. Some people say I look like my dad. Others say I look like my mom. I don't always agree, because these are two of the best people I've ever known. How can I possibly be a mirror of the most phenomenal humans in existence?

I can't imagine watching Nuestra Belleza Latina with anyone else, but my mom. I can't imagine swimming in the beautiful waters of Bacalar, Mexico with any other woman, but my mom. I can't imagine having more fun on a hike with anyone but her. No one's eyes will light up as much as my mom's when I tell her my dreams. No one else would have sat through every single one of my volleyball and basketball games, even the seasons I was benched most of the game. No one's food will ever taste as good as my mom's. No one's laughter will ever fill my heart as much as her's does. No one will ever care about my health and emotions as much as she does. She's the best woman I know.

My mom is someone I can look up to, and know that she is always going to be there. She is someone that always has the answers, and can be honest with me 100 percent. I'm blessed to have such a caring, selfless, emotional mom. Through the countless vacations, big and small, we have made so many memories. I can't think of anyone else who I would rather share all those memories with. I am so grateful that my mom chose to invest so much of her life in her children. I know that my mom has guided me through a variety of different situations. She has basically guided me through life.

I hope that my relationship with my future children are similar my relationship with my mom.

Where is my Mom?

Let me tell here where my mom is.

My mom is LIVING.

Like, living living.

Though, like everything, it has its ups and downs, she has the best marriage. This man was handmade for her. He was placed in her life at the perfect time, and that was it. She married my dad at a very young age, and it worked out in the best way possible. They learned from each other. They travel together. They are incredibly goofy. They are adventurous. They are absolute relationship goals.

April 16, 2019 marked 25 years of marriage. Together, they have battled through the hard times, and laughed through the good times. They helped each other grow. They are stronger than ever. They continue to teach each other on a daily basis. I've seen them grow with my own eyes! It's amazing! These two are so perfect for each other.

She has two children attending a four year university, with one of them on the brink of graduating (Me! I graduate soon! Ahh!). I can say with ease that my brother and I would not be the people we are today if it weren't for her. Though we do have our own flaws (who doesn't!?); for example, sometimes one of us is too stubborn, and the other one of us is too lazy. She raised us with love, and compassion. We had a pretty fantastic childhood. My brother and I never fought. We even grew up to become each other's best friends.

I wish I could go back. If in 40 years somebody invents a time machine, and lets me take it for a spin, I think one of the first times I would go back to is my childhood. I'd pull a Captain America, and stay in that time, just to be able to experience that once more.

Mami,

I've seen you cry. I've seen you happy. I've seen you proud of us, and yourself. I've seen you excited and energetic. I've seen you hurt. I've seen you tired. I've seen all your sacrifices for us, and I would like you to know that you are deeply appreciated. The strongest, most loving soul I've ever known is yours. When I am blessed with children of my own, I want to be just like you–tough, but always giving. I'm not always good at being affectionate, or expressive of my feelings, but please know that I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for always believing in me. I pray that you have endless happiness, health, and a prolonged life.

I owe it all to my mom and dad. Everything I do is for them. I can't imagine my life without the parents that I have. My family dynamic has taught me so much about myself, and who I want to be. I hope that my life in the future is half as blessed as I was in my childhood. My mom has been such an influence in my life, and I can't wait for what the future holds. I am so glad that I have a great relationship with my mom, and I hope I'm half the woman she is.

Thank you for everything. I love you, Mami. Happy Mother's Day!

All my love and more,

Samie