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I want to answer this by asking, "Well, duh. Are you stupid?" But that might be too mean, so I will answer this by saying of course! Would you not want your wife to do the same? How can you let ANYONE, let alone any of your family members? Even if your family does not like your wife, or if they think she is not good enough, they still need to respect who you chose. And remember, by allowing them to disrespect your wife, they are also disrespecting your marriage, and by an extension... you as well.
Let us break this down a little bit piece by piece, shall we? Let us say that you call your wife, and expect that she and your kids were going to be spending Christmas at your grandma's house. When you call your wife she is at home spending the day with the kids. You get mad at her and yell, ask her why she is not there. She tells you that she was not ever invited to their house for Christmas, and did not know if they were even home, or at their son's house where they usually spent their holidays. She asks you why you are mad when you were not ever told anything about the holiday or invited over. You get off the phone and call your family. They give you some bullshit reason why she was never invited over, and you are still mad giving her your wrath. Did you defend your wife? Did you disrespect her? Did you allow your family to?
Let us say that something happens, and you tell your family that if they do not accept your wife and kids that they do not accept you. If they hurt her and your kids they hurt you. Let us say you even tell your mother that you want her in your life, but she does not have to be if she can not or will not accept your family. If you tell her that if she does not stop then she will no longer be in your life, and then a few days later she is at it again. She is publicly embarrassing you, your wife, and your kids on social media. The rest of your family denounces her from the family, and your mom has chimed in with abuse as well. And you are ready to cut all of those family members off, but yet your mom who had a part in it, you do not denounce, you do not disinherit, did you defend her?
Your mother is always going to be your mother, your family is your family, but your wife is the one person you chose to forsake everyone else for. She is the one person who you chose to pledge your life and love to. She is the one who will be around longer. She will be your life partner. The one you lay down next to every single night.
It is great to be close to your mother, and to respect her, but when you disrespect your wife by respecting your mother, when you have made your wife unhappy by making your mother happy, and when you have put your marriage on the line by putting your mom first as your highest priority, that crosses the line, and you can lose everything in the world you hold dear to you. You can have your family and have your wife and kids, but what you can not do is damage your marriage being a great son, and expecting your wife to not be upset, mad, or possibly one day, to leave.
So men, think about that before you choose the wrong side.