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Adoption

I was built for it.

By Felicia OwenPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Free Spirit 

People think adoption and assume that every part of that word means you went through something horrific and maybe you aren’t as normal as the rest.

Define normal. Normal can never be defined because we all honestly have gone through things that have shaped us into who we are today. I personally have people ask me the run down of questions when I say I’m adopted or ask me nothing because they’re afraid I might tell them an awful story about who I am. I’m just as average as the rest I would say, maybe a few bumps along the way but I survived it.

Why me? What did I deserve to go through this? And why didn’t my family love me enough to keep me? The question is, “Why not you”? On a personal note I think I was made for it. I’m strong, and I don’t mean physically I mean spiritually and emotionally. Throw a rock at me and it wouldn’t possibly hit me, because I would catch it. Adoption taught me to be GRATEFUL, be grateful that someone stood up and decided you needed a life that someone else wouldn’t possibly be able to give you. Stop doubting the person you are all because of the blood that runs through you. Know your heart and know that you deserve a chance. It’s called love and believe it or not... someone else loves you.

Maturity. There’s no easy way to explain to a child if they're adopted, or if you're like me and realized what was going on then maybe not so bad. I processed this event in my life simply because I was 8 years old and knew that what I was going through wasn’t the right way to live. My mom was more crazy about drugs and men then raising a family, my dad was drunk driving and hit a semi. It’s crazy that two single people can play such a HUGE role in your life. So then again I ask.. Why me? Because I was built for it. These two single events made me stay away from drugs and quite honestly I don’t even like the taste of alcohol. Never went through a party phase and never been in trouble with the law. Two events shaped me and those two events made me who I am. Adoption isn’t all negatives.

Growing up. Catch me at 16 and I was the average teenager as far as I want to run away and do something spontaneous. BUT I stuck to school, friends, and work. I saved money when most people spent it at that age. Bought my first car, had a prepaid cell phone, and my parents never paid a single bill of mine. Worked since I was 16 and battled emotions my whole life. Just because I said adoption isn’t all negatives, doesn’t mean I haven’t ever felt out of place. Life is crazy, you turn a certain age and you question everything. I’ve felt right at home and I’ve felt so far away from it.

If you recall I said I was adopted at 8. I’ve seen drugs, seen men in and out of my mom's house, and seen most of those men abused her. I’ve witnessed her pull a trigger to herself and watched her suffer as I call 911 as I lay there and cry uncontrollably: I was 6 when she did that. Life trauma. All I ever got from her is “I’m sorry.” It’s a shame children ever witness that kind of thing, but I was BUILT for it.

Go ahead and ask me if I know where my birth mom is, I’ll tell you yes. This mother of mine has reached out several times to me in the past years and I’ve let her speak. I’ve let her give her twist to the stories I’ve heard over the years and quite honestly all I’ve ever felt is sorry for her. I told myself I was built for it. She has no idea that everything she’s ever put me through has taught me to be the exact opposite. That while I can sit and dwell on my life, I’ve also sat and thought to myself how damn good it feels to know I’m nothing like her. I had a good family take me in. I’ve played sports, graduated school, bought a house, traveled a little bit, and now in my career and I just sit and think... I was built for this.

Life is how you make it. It’s about being 100% ready to conquer the world when all odds are against you. Adoption SHAPED ME. Adoption taught me to fight when you just want to cry, it taught me that those memories really make you into who you are. Yes of course I’ve missed things that most children have but I gained that as I grew older.

I was built for it.

adoption
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About the Creator

Felicia Owen

🐵Dog mom, Bakery manager, life seeker, horror film lover, taken by soul mate, adventurest, foodie to say the least, seeking out long term happiness. Blessed. 🙃

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