A Letter to My Father

Since the age of five or six, I cannot personally remember, you and mom have been divorced. Nothing messy, just not living together anymore.

Growing up this how my weeks went, Tuesday nights we were at you place, Friday night sleepovers and then Saturday afternoon drop off and the rest of the week we were at my mums. For me I thought this was a great set up, you had a very demanding job, so this seemed to fit in with your schedule too. Of course we would see you the odd time other than those specific days, pick up for appointments or basketball games, piano recitals, things like that, important things back then.

When I was younger I never used to really hear much from mom about it. I liked it like that, she is a strong independent woman. She didn’t really feel the need to bring other people down or show someone up just for the fun of it. You on the other hand, could probably not go a visit without asking or making a comment about my mom.

As I wrote before, you had a demanding job. Every other weekend I started sleeping over at my grandparents. Back then I thought it was great, I love them. But I get it dad, you have to focus on your career while other family members focused on us. I get it now that I am older and have a career of my own. Although, I know for a fact that you were not working on those Friday nights.

You met her. And she was a life changer. I am so glad that she is in both our lives. She is truly an amazing person and always kind. I am glad you two are married now, you guys go well together. She really does bring out the best in you. I always felt welcome when she was around and you always seemed better when she was there with us.

As I got older, maybe around 17 or 18, things changed, I started working and focusing more on school and my grades. The sleepovers stopped completely and Tuesday night dinners were rare. You were there for me whenever I needed, I always knew that.

The next couple years were a roller coaster for me, I never told you everything, I never told anyone everything. You saw some things and you intervened when you could and when you felt it was appropriate, which at the time I was mad about. But seeing it all now, I am so thankful you were there when you could be and were able to let me make my own decisions.

My sister really praises you. I hope you know that, she thinks that you can literally do nothing wrong. Even if you left your wife, gamble too much and drink too often. She really loves you. She may even love more than our mother, which I do not find fair. I know its not your fault she is this way.

I am married now, my husband is great. We do live far away from you, I hope you know that was not on purpose. I would hope we never get divorced. I cannot see that happening soon. I have learned to share my feelings with him, he is a great listener.

I always have a thought: What if you and mom stayed together? My life has turned out pretty well so far. I like to think I have a good head on my shoulders, and my life experiences, including this one, have helped with that. I don’t think I could really imagine a life different than the one I have now.

Thanks Dad.