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A Father's Daughter

Lessons for Dads with Little Girls

I'm going to admit something very big. I was a daddy's girl. But then I grew up.

Dads are so important for little girls, it shows them how a man is to treat them, how they are loved, and sets up relationship boundaries that help them prevent getting stuck in the most unsuccessful kinds of relationships. It also means that they have a friend and a life coach.

Many people who hear about girls being daddy's little princess assume that they are spoiled, entitled, or has images of self-loathing or hates herself. But sometimes it doesn't hurt to have someone by your side, even if your relationship with your mom isn't your best. But here are some cons and benefits of being daddy's little everything. 

1. Dads encourage proper healthy relationship expectations.

Teenage daughters are kind of a taboo subject for most parents of female infants. They don't want to acknowledge that part of a life experience as a parent because they don't want to expect their own daughter to mirror similar patterns of relationships they had while the parents were in the same age back in their own upbringing.

According to a psychology today article, our perception of normalcy happens since infancy. We learn patterns of social cues and relationships between our parents, future partners, and siblings that either resemble a hierarchy or a nuclear and positive group identity. We shape our behaviors and social cues based on how our upbringing was either similar or opposite of the pattern used in future relationship developments.

The healthy relationship part of the father-daughter development is based on the way the father brings up his daughter and what she expects a future partner to bring to the table. If she was raised in a positive and motivational household, then she is expecting to find a partner who is similar in that pattern of positive influence on her lifestyle choices. However, not all father-daughter relationships have positive benefits.

Some of the cons of this type of relationship stem into absent parenting on behalf of the father or abandonment from a male figure at an early age. Females in those dynamics where the father has an addiction, abandoned them during infancy, established an authoritative and hierarchical prominence in the home may seek relationships that are explosive or abusive to mimic the same relationship they have experienced in their home life. Many of these types of father-daughter relationships of abandonment or abuse stem from those in which families of military, law enforcement, or clerical have systematically battered and destroyed the daughter's identity and seeks comfort in abusive or dangerous relationships.

2. Positive father role models provide identity and ego boost.

This second part may mirror something similar to what is expressed above, but this goes more into detail of the daughter in the relationship and what it means for her in behavioral developments.

A daughter needs constant encouragement from both parents, the mother and the father, but the father should continue to encourage the daughter when she takes on more active roles such as extra-curricular activities or competitive sports, depending on how the child was raised by both parents.

An article on LifeHack, states that there are ten things psychologically that can happen to a woman who has a positive and open relationship with her own father. The amount of independence the daughter builds up is based on the bonding experiences she does with her father, be it cycling, shooting, or enjoying a movie together that makes you two closer. But if the daughter was more liberal or artistic, then the father should reward his daughter and encourage her to continue in that field of study depending on the ambition that is obtained in early childhood.

I grew up in an arts background. My grandmother did most of my literature and comprehension while my grandfather and father did most of the scientific and mathematical concepts. My mother enrolled me in ballet and my grandmother enrolled me in music. I stuck with music because my first memorize recital piece was "Fur Elise," which was my dad's favorite Beethoven song. He was a huge fan of art and talent with music. Most of the music my dad listened to was Rock. He still considers Led Zeppelin heavy metal.

Another aspect of the identity and ego boost that comes from his positive male parent bonding is the similarities in personality and behavior patterns daughters pick up from their father. This can be due to the amount of time spent together in early childhood that the daughter often is a mirror image of her own father in behavior and speech patterns. Another example would be how your dad slouches on the couch during a football game or drinks a beer after work, the daughter would often mimic the same example of behavior. This can be regardless of gender upbringing.

Some cons to this type of behavior could be based on the father raising the child in an addictive substance type environment. Sometimes an alcoholic parent is more of a child than that of a parent and so a daughter taking care of her father or something in that case where the father enforces a strict guideline may in fact harm the behavior and personality the daughter may develop overtime. In cases where there is an absent parent, be it not involved in the upbringing of the child or has been a bachelor for some time before settling down and raising a child and is therefore absent, the daughter may have negative emotions and may be socially withdrawn from making friends or future intimate relationships. It could be that they choose more elderly men or men similar within the same age range as the absent father in which they are more caregivers and mothers to their spouse or father than they are equal. 

What you need to be as a dad for a little girl.

I am not a parent, nor have I ever been married. But I know that if there is not a solid rock for a child to have a set knowledge or level of education and personal belief to raise their own platform, then there are some problems erred by parental guidance and developmental support.

You don't have to raise your girl to be this rising star in Hollywood, nor do you have to give her a pedestal to become a selfish, type A personality because everything was given to her on a silver platter. But what you should do is ensure that you spend quality time with your daughter to have her learn to enjoy the little things or take advantage of what is being offered to her, be it after-school activities, sports, dance classes, or music lessons. If you can support her in whatever she chooses to do for an education, who she chooses in a martial partner or spouse, then what you are giving her is someone in her corner who will fight for what she strives to become.

A father's daughter is someone who was lived with a man who has shown her humble and honest opinions about the world and what she wants to become. He will give her mentoring and coaching to strive to be a better person on a daily basis. That is something my father taught me at a young age. If you want to do better, then work harder and you will get better. If you want to be humble and honest, then help those who need a friend versus a bully by their side. If you want to have a healthy relationship with a man, then work on the relationship you have with your own father. Dads are the rocks for their children's foundation, the stronger and unbreakable a father can be for his daughter, the stronger and unbreakable the daughter will become. Children can make adults better human beings, but daughters can make fathers more humble and wiser in many ways. 

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