A Family

Family, you would think that they always have your back and help you each step of the way. But that’s where you need to look at in different angles, I’m gonna tell you a story of my own. A story about me and my family.

I was born at Credit Valley Hospital on April 9, 1992, in Ontario, Canada. I was born into a family with two brothers, a mom, and dad, a typical family. I was the youngest of the family, coming from the Philippines as my background, but born and raised in Canada. I always grew up looking up to my brothers and how awesome it was to have them. But as I grew up, I started to realize that my family isn’t a normal family to me.

When I was in kindergarten I always sang the alphabet, but I was always compared to my cousin. My cousin didn’t sing the alphabet, he was just saying the letters and everyone praised him, saying he is really smart and he would be going places; then there’s me. I was always jealous of him getting all the glory. Even my own parents praised him and turned to me asking, "why can’t you be more like him?"

At first it was all jealously and I hated him at first when we were growing up. But he always moved to different houses, he never just stayed in house. His family was already going through things. But enough about them, my family always taught me good morals and values which I carry with me until now. That’s one thing to be grateful for my family.

As I started to learn about my family, my eldest brother always taught me to always serve my family because I’m the girl of the family, that’s what I always hear because I’m a girl, so I must be a slave to my family bending backwards for my family always being there for them. Don’t get me wrong I love my family, but there are somethings I need to say, and that’s space away from them.

Whenever I was doing my homework, I always hated math. I never really liked it because whenever I got the question wrong my mom would hit me. I remember my mom would get frustrated with me, because I would remember the answer and then forget it the next time I see it. I remember sitting on a stool with my back against the wall and my mom pointing at the flash cards. Saying what is 1+1? And I would take forever to answer, because I was scared of being hit. I also remember crying a lot, I always cried.

When I got to high school, I was always addicted to video games and anime, and I never wanted to do my homework. I would always do my homework the day it was due or just not hand it in. I just wanted to get through high school and be done with it.

At the age of 18 before I got a job, I ran away from home because I couldn’t deal with my mom, everyday she would say that I’m fat and that I need to walk. My mom always talked crap about me and my second oldest brother, but he just took it in and shrugged his shoulders and said well that’s mom for you. I feel like my mom only cares about my eldest brother because he was the one who was always smart. He could have been a lawyer, but he didn’t, he wanted to be a cop. But even though I ran from home, I didn’t know where to go so I ran half way to my high school, and again I was crying, because I didn’t know how to deal with a mom that talks crap. My second oldest brother dragged me home and my oldest brother lectured me about being stupid for running away and threatened me that if I do something this stupid again, he would call the cops on me.

The experience I had with my family was getting out of hand, now my family already planned my future and that I’m not smart enough to think for myself. My family thinks I’ll always be stupid and that I’ll just be working at a grocery store for the rest of my life. My family will always be toxic to me and I need to get away from this environment. I can’t be dragged down because of them. I would say more things about them, but this story would be really long.

Now that I’m 26 I can’t even walk outside because they think I’ll get killed. They always watch stupid shows about rape and criminals, but I know what is right and what is wrong. I feel like I’m trapped here at home. Being criticized everyday of my life. My mom would ask "why don’t you go out with your friends?" and then a second later... "no you’re not allowed to go out with your friends." I don’t fucking get it. Just let me be free. You let the two idiots go out all the time. They have to let go that I’m not a baby anymore and that I need to learn things on my own and by not letting me have my freedom how will I understand the world if I’m just stuck at home. I’m sorry but this family is to much for me. I’ll save up and live on my own because that’s where it’s getting at I don’t want to live by my parents rules anymore. And I don’t want to be treated like a slave for the rest of my life.