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A 20-Some-Year-Old

On Being a Stay At Home Mom

My Son Resting On My Chest At 3 Weeks

"When I grow up, I want to be a singer and a dancer!" I exclaimed to my father, at the age of 9. "You can't. They don't make any money," father replied. "What makes the world go 'round?" I asked with eyes bright and starry. My East coast native papa replied stiffly, without hesitation, "That's easy. Money." Tears filled my eyes and the words rolled out of my mouth, "no dad! It's love. Please change your mind." 

I didn't change his mind no matter how much pleading came from my soul. My father had his answer. So, I replied in fury, "fine, then I'll just be a stripper!" He jumped up and chased me to spank me for saying so. 

Now I'm a 20 something, a college drop out, wife and mother. I am looked in two ways: -#one - I'm looked at is with admiration for how I raise and love my son.  

#two - I'm an idiot who threw away my future and disrespected my family in the process.

 

When did we become the judges who rule the court in others' lives? When did having children and being a wife to someone wonderful, become a burden and means to be shunned and condemned? It's true what they say, money won't pay the bills! But true love is something I desire more than money. I find true love in my relationship with God and then with my husband and son. I don't feel bad for myself and the life I live. Sure, I'm a college drop out who lives in a room with her spouse and baby. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Does that make me an idiot? If so, what does that make someone who invests so much time in critiquing my life?

Other times, people suggest I get a job and finish my degree. I would love to but who will raise my son for 8 hours while I work to afford childcare? If I return to work and make 15 an hour and childcare is 15 an hour, what is the point? What job can I find that will make me enough money to not fret over childcare and not have a degree? I tossed these questions around and decided they belong where others' unsolicited advice and opinions belong - in the trash. I don't want your advice or critique. It's not wanted. It's not helpful. Why would I come to someone whose own children don't want to be around them for parenting advice? Or whose children depend on them so much that they don't even know how to do laundry or how to make pasta? Why would I want your advice on finances when you're still paying off your car and switching over to a NEW lease? That right there, would be more stupid of me than to live the life I'm currently living. Piss off people. Let people live their *stupid* lives and you go live your supercilious life far far away from those you stir up discord with. In my eyes, love makes the world spin and as long as I'm good with God, that's all I'm living for. My family is happy and a great source of love for me, no assets or crisis will change that. My answer is love. When we die we can't have money or cars or jewerly or merch ascend with us. We give and bring love. When we go I hope, instead of fighting over what amount of money we left behind, that our kids remember the love we shared. Go get you some love while you still have breath in your lungs. 

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A 20-Some-Year-Old
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