5 Things to Say to Your Kids More Often

As a parent, we know there are things that a child needs such as food, shelter, and an education. However, there are also things that children need that can be expressed through words. These things may not occur to us to tell our children because we are too busy trying to support them, but these are things that children need to hear a lot more often, nonetheless.

1. “I love you”

Though this is a very obvious one, it can’t be stated enough that children need to hear this phrase. They understand you feed and clothe them, but on a more basic level, they crave that verbal expression of affection and love. Saying “I love you” to your child reinforces why you are supporting them while also helping them develop their feelings of worth and importance.

2. “I am so proud of you”

Along with the need to feel loved and physically supported, they need parental validation of what they are doing. Telling your children you are proud of them reinforces positive behavior, but it also gives your children a sense of accomplishment and triumph that they are being praised by their parent. Children, especially teenagers, need to hear from someone that they are doing the right thing, that they are gifted, and that they are special.

3. “I am always here for you”

This phrase ties into the sheltering part of being a parent. We provide shelter to our children by giving them a roof over their head, but they also need a safe haven for their non-physical hurts. Telling your child you are there for them gives them a safe person to talk about their hurts while they are at school, such as being bullied. This also lets your child know that you will be there for them, no matter what. Whatever trouble they are in, they can always come to you for help.

Children need this sort of safety net mentally. This does not mean that your child will instantly do bad things and assume you will come to rescue them. This simply means that you are there for support should they need it mentally, emotionally, or physically. Children who take this help will trust you more and will be more likely to return the favor should you need it when you are older and may need their assistance.

4. “You can do this”

From someone on the outside looking in, we are usually able to tell what our children are capable of. Children may not be sure they can do something they perceive as impossible or scary while we know that they are able to use their skills and gifts to do certain tasks easily. When you tell your child, “You can do this,” you are giving them the encouragement they may need to overcome obstacles or chase their dreams.

5. “I’m punishing you because I care”

Children never like to be punished, but very small children may come to the conclusion that they are being punished because their parents don’t like them or teenagers may think their parents are punishing them to be spiteful. When you punish your child, you need to tell them that you are punishing them because you care about them and you want them to learn from their mistakes. Children need to understand that there are consequences to every action they take, but they also need to know that when you punish them, you are doing it because you love them and don’t want them to repeat that mistake again.

It’s Not Always Better to Say Something

It’s inevitable that our children at some point in their lives will disappoint us with their behavior. However, be careful not to let your anger or disappointment make you say something that may stick with them for years. Never say anything to attack your child’s intelligence, sense of self-worth, or wellbeing. Just as we tell our children, think about what you say before you say it.