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In 2014, my husband and I contemplated me becoming a stay at home mom. We weighed the pros and cons, the lack of income versus having fewer bills to pay, etc. I was working full time at a local bank, and our babies were attending a Christian preschool. The program was amazing and the costs were less than most daycares. The only con we could think of was having less income, but when we added up the costs of child care, gas, on-the-go meals, etc., my income was nonexistent. It seemed pointless to work just so someone else could raise our kids. Since becoming a full time stay at home parent, I have discovered the truths about some myths.
1. Not Having to Work
This is the greatest myth of all. My job consists of: laundry, meals, cleaning, teaching, being a mediator, being an accountant, being a chauffeur, running errands for my husband, problem solving, counseling, etc. The list never ends. My husband had to spend one day in my shoes and after just three hours, he begged me to come home.
2. Being Wealthy
Just because I am able to stay home does not mean we are wealthy. One year, our total income was barely $20,000! How did we survive?! I kept to a strict budget. Childcare would’ve cost us $12000+.
3. Rainbows and Sunshine
Let me tell you, staying home all the time can lead to depression. I’ve learned that to help beat depression, it is good to spend time outside and in the sun. I was raised on a farm and spent countless hours running wild and climbing trees. I lost touch with that part of myself and became a “cave troll.” I became depressed, gained 20 pounds, stopped being the mother my children deserved. Now that I know that, I’ve stopped staying inside, lost 17 pounds and am more active than I have ever been since pre-baby life. My children are happier and so am I.
4. All the Free Time in the World
Lies! Your world becomes consumed by becoming a secretary to your spouse and children. The wants and needs never end. I swear I make eight meals/day, so I’m constantly in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. Our son is a growing bottomless pit. LOL.
5. Being Lazy
Some say I’m lazy and that’s why I don’t work. Not true. My home may not be spotless (which I’m working on), but I do work. I just don’t bring home money. If my husband had to pay someone to do everything I do, we would be in major debt.
The end result is: stay at home parents do work and we should all be grateful for them. Our lives aren’t always glamorous. My husband and I have our disagreements and not so beautiful moments, but at the end of the day, he is grateful for all I do and I am grateful for all he does. As long as you and your partner have an understanding, no one else’s opinion matters. Stay strong! Stay blessed! And thank a stay at home parent!